


Picking Up The Pieces of a Broken Heart

by morgay



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, BAMF Pepper Potts, Blood, Blow Jobs, DUM-E is cute too, Depression, Don’t copy to another site, Drug Abuse, Drug Use, Drugged Sex, Drugs, Dubiously Consensual Blow Jobs, Flashbacks, Graphic, Hurt Tony Stark, Hurt/Comfort, Mental Anguish, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Misunderstood Tony Stark, Multi, Nightmares, Oblivious Avengers, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Avengers, Protective Rhodey, Psychological Torture, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rhodey Is a Good Bro, Seriously Tony is just fucking tortured through all of this, Slow Burn, Sporadic updates I apologize in advance, Tony Angst, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony-centric, Torture, Violence, We stan JARVIS, Whump, poor baby
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2020-02-26 10:48:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 25,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18715522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morgay/pseuds/morgay
Summary: After Tony Stark is drugged and raped by a man, his team is left to pick up the remaining pieces of his shattered heart.





	1. In Medias Res

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- WARNING: Do not read if you are easily triggered by sexual assault, mental health issues, alcoholism, drug abuse, and torture. -
> 
> EXTENDED BLURB: After Tony Stark is drugged and raped by an unknown man, he attempts to uncover Jasper’s true identity while his mental state rapidly decreases. Meanwhile, his team doesn’t suspect a thing. When they do, however, the implications are harrowing.

The first thing Tony Stark sees when he wakes up is a dark haze. It feels like his mind has been stuffed with cotton, his thoughts shoved into the back of his brain, the foggy storm overtaking his senses. He struggles to breathe for a moment, his nostrils flaring and his fingers curling into the palms of his hands. He realizes immediately that his head is pounding and Tony grits his teeth, chocolate eyes screwed shut in hopes to stop the pain in whatever way possible. He soon realizes that sitting here and doing nothing isn’t going to help. 

However, when he tries to move, Tony’s heart drops dead into his stomach, the rhythmic pump striking up several notches and causing sweat beads to form on his temple. He can’t move. His hands are bound in rope that rubs his skin when he tries to wriggle out of its grip. His feet are propped up and tied on the edge of a bed, which Tony realizes he’s currently laying on. Panic flickers like a flame inside his chest, spreading through his nerves and causing a guttural breath to rip from his throat. He writhes desperately, flashbacks spinning him into anxiety, images distorting the currently dark room. He whines.

“Now, now, Mr. Stark. I don’t want you to make a racket.”

His lips twitch into a neutral curve as Tony’t eyes flicker around the dark room, the brown-haired male trying to find the source of the voice. He realizes that a silhouette is sitting in the chair across the bed, and it feels like he can’t breathe. Dark green eyes sink into his mind and tear away at his bliss; all he can see is blood and craving hunger, like a tiger licking its lips as it’s about to pounce on its prey. That’s what those eyes remind him of and Tony wonders if he’ll ever be able to get that image out of his head again.

“Who are you?” His voice is rough and he inwardly cringes; it sounds like wooden splinters being carved into a wall. Tony almost thinks his question is truly idiotic but he shoves that thought away harshly. It’s not like he has much leeway here. 

“Hmm.” A purr rumbles from the throat of the obviously larger male. It feels like fangs are sinking into Tony’s skin. The predator is striking. The billionaire doesn’t expect to be greeted so closely by the other man, but he has no time to even flinch away when those brooding eyes pound at the edge of his skull. “Oh, dear Tony, I wish I could reveal that information to you. But I’m afraid that will have to be kept private. Of course, you know I don’t want to do that, right? I would love for you to know who I am.” The male’s green eyes narrow slightly. “However, despite my intelligence not being as high as yours, I like to think of myself as a man that knows how to keep his identity safe. That being said, I’ll let you see my face, but you will never get to know who I am.” The guy actually looks sad for a moment. “I’m sorry, Tony. I hope I haven’t disappointed you.”

Tony has to desperately hold his tongue. _Don’t get defensive. You know where that got you in Afghanistan. Be nice, supportive. Act like you care. Maybe it’ll get you out of this completely fucked situation._ So, actually having to force his screaming insults to the back of his throat, Tony just nods.

“Good boy.” The male steps into the moonlight and the billionaire’s breath hitches; it’s like a train has slammed into his body, sending his organs flying, his brain reeling. Those eyes aren’t the only capturing thing about his kidnapper; dark, midnight black hair is slapped across his forehead, ruffling at the top with a revealing widow’s peak to be accompanied. He sees muscles rippling under the male’s shirt, his body frame average but Tony knows he’s strong; much stronger than he lets on. His face is curved and hooked in the corners, his features sharpened in the pale light that filters over his face. His nose is slim, and those eyes, oh, those eyes. They make Tony’s insides crawl. “I didn’t actually expect you to be so willing to follow my terms.” A deadly smile crawls across the other man’s lips. “The famed Tony Stark has always been interpreted as a fighter; a soldier. Of course, I think your respect for me is so much more humble than spitting petty insults my way.” He pauses. “In fact, I’m so impressed, I’ll let you call me a name. What do you choose, Tony? Do you mind if I call you Tony?”

Tony can’t think. He tries desperately to remember how he ended up here, what happened during the night that stuck him bound to a bed with a crazed man standing over him. The fact that he’s being praised doesn’t help to simplify the matters any further. He’s almost surprised the male asks him so generously, but Tony feels dread sinking into his bones. This isn’t right. None of this is right. “I don’t mind. And please, choose anything. You’re free to pick.” He tries to smile but Tony isn't sure how convincing it looks.

The man clasps his hand together excitedly, having the expression of a child receiving ice cream without his knowledge. “Oh! I’m so happy you're allowing me the choice of a name.” The man pokes at his chin, tilting his head to the side. “Hm, how about Jasper? I quite like that name. And my, Tony, I simply adore the way you’re giving me the freedom to call you something I otherwise wouldn’t. Say, Tony, how about I reward you for your spectacular behavior tonight?”

Tony isn’t sure if this reward is spectacular in his own sense of Jasper’s sense, but he hopes it’s a win-win either way. Nodding weakly, Tony looks toward the door. “How long have—“

“Hush, hush. If you know me, Tony, you know I cannot stand unimportant questions. Please, only respond to me when inquired directly.” The male gives a hard smile. “Now, it’s time for me to please you.” Jasper’s hands touch Tony’s belt buckle.

He isn’t sure he can speak anymore. The shock pulses through him like a ton of bricks and he begins to shake uncontrollably. Why can’t he talk? He needs to tell Jasper to back off, to not do this, to do anything _but_ this! However, Tony’s voice is wedged inside of his throat and no noise comes out when he opens his mouth.

He doesn’t even say no.

The pants are slipped off of Tony gently; a little too gently for his liking, but then again, he _is_ being violated by a man he doesn't even know. He would rather it be this than for his jeans to be ripped off. Tony holds his breath, watching with darkening eyes as his boxers are left exposed. He quivers, nervousness cracking open his chest and leaving him feeling numb. Jasper notices this and grasps Tony’s hand affectionately. “Oh, Tony. Don’t be scared. This isn’t meant to hurt you. I want to make you feel better than you ever have before.”

Tony can’t shake his head like he so desperately wants to. He can't fumble with the ropes and kick Jasper in the gut with his foot. No, Tony isn’t like his teammates; he’s not like the other Avengers. He doesn’t have superhuman strength, stealthy hearing, a godly hammer.. all he has is his brain and his hands that allow him to create so many good and bad things. He’s just an ordinary man behind a suit and, for once, Tony wishes he wasn’t.

And god, does it feel like he’s being stabbed in the back when he can see his own cock hardening, curving upward toward Jasper, easily seeable beneath his underwear. The black-haired male licks his lips hungrily, sliding forward across the bed and examining Tony’s hard-on. Eventually, after what seems like hours, Jasper slips his boxers off.

Even with a shirt on, Tony feels so horribly exposed. He knows his cheeks are red and his face feels like it's on fire, and shame burns deep within his belly as he comes to the conclusion that there's nothing he can do at this point. He’s too weak. He’s too cowardly. It wouldn’t even be considered molestation or rape now; Tony never said no. How pathetic.

“Pl-Please just—“

“Shhhhhh~” Jasper’s voice, which seems as if it’s meant to soothe, definitely doesn't calm Tony’s nerves. It leaves him shaking, hurt tearing his heart to shreds as he's forced to watch a man play with him so easily. Like he’s a toy. Tony wonders if he deserves it.

Jasper leans toward Tony’s abdomen, his fingers expertly curling around the billionaire’s cock, his other hand slipping under and fondling his balls. Tony holds back a soft groan and feels hot, flooding embarrassment when his penis is fully erect. It seems to enjoy any pair of hands wrapped around it and Tony is just _disgusted_. Why can’t his body follow his emotions?

Jasper begins to stroke his dick, sliding his hand up and down, slipping along the edges and moving in and out of different rhythms. Pleasure soars through Tony’s body but his mind doesn't feel that pleasure. He doesn’t want any of this! He wants none of it! Why did this have to happen to Tony? God, he wants to keep the release inside of him so badly but it _hurts_. It stings so badly, in fact, he has to bite his lip and clench the bed sheets in order to calm himself. An orgasm begins to form at the tip of his cock, spreading down and into his veins, adrenaline sparking through his body. He knows he can’t hold it inside anymore. And fuck, it’s the worst but most relieving feeling he’s ever had in his life.

A sticky white substance spews out of his penis and sprays across his shirt, flicking on Tony’s face and all over the bed. His belly lurches, his heart is beating so rapidly he thinks it might leap out of his chest, and Tony just wants it to end. But his body is in need of more; he still has a fucking boner and it pains him so, so much. “We’re desperate, I see,” Jasper coos. “If you want more, just ask, Tony. I’m always happy to do you a favor.”

Tony lets out a gagged gasp when his cock slips into Jasper’s warm, slimy mouth. He can feel the pressure of his cum breaking high levels already and he lets out a whimper. Fuck! No! He can’t do this again, not just after he was fucking given a handjob! It isn’t _fair_! But his body doesn't seem to give a damn about Tony’s feelings. Instead, he's completely ignored and he lets out a tight moan when Jasper’s tongue rolls over the tip of his penis, maneuvering around the sides and sucking farther and farther down. Tony can feel the back of the other male’s throat and tears form at the edges of his eyes, threatening to spill, his gaze becoming cloudy. He can’t do this. He can’t do this.

But Jasper is too damn good. He begins to bounce up and down Tony’s member, using his tongue for extra affect and the billionaire can’t stop it. Cum leaks out of his dick and into Jasper’s mouth, and saliva soaks into his cock when the other man pulls away. His eyes are so hungry that Jasper lets his hand slip down into his pants, beating himself off while Tony wails miserably in his mind. He doesn’t want to see Jasper cum all over the sheets, but Tony does, and it makes him feel even worse. Fucking hell, everything hurts, and he just wants it to be over. Is it over?

Jasper stares at Tony, offering little to no compassion or sympathy this time, only a neutral gaze that leaves the superhero (he isn’t sure you could even call him that) with more questions. “Hang tight, Tony. I’ll be back later tonight.”

Jasper exits without another word, and Tony is left in the dark abyss of the bedroom.

──────────

It doesn’t seem like much time passes when Jasper returns.

The man is calm as ever, eyes soft as he gazes upon the bound man. His hand runs along the sticky sheet and rests on Tony’s shirt, Jasper holding it for a moment before he begins to tear it off of the billionaire. Tony is frozen in place, watching the threads rip apart like the last feelings in his heart, and he realizes all too soon how much he can relate to that old piece of clothing. Then, he realizes he’s completely naked and his cheeks flush, his breath stirring rapidly and his oxygen wavering, trapping itself inside his throat. Tony begins to thrash desperately when Jasper himself starts to strip off his shirt, seeming to go as slowly as possible just to _torture_ Tony; he fucking hates it.

“What are you doing?” the brown-haired male hisses. It’s the first words he’s spoken in a few hours.

Jasper is silent for a moment, unzipping his pants and watching them fall to the ground. The man tips his head and turns his chin up toward Tony. “Didn’t I tell you I don’t like being asked questions?”

“Yes, but you’ve done enough. I think I deserve to know.” Tony’s sentence is clipped and there’s a raspy edge to his tone. Apprehension feels as if it’s wedged inside of his stomach like loose gravel, and paranoia stirs inside of his mind. He’s naked and Jasper is getting naked. What else can that mean?

The green-eyed man sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “I do suppose that is true. But Tony, I thought you knew.” He gives a wicked smile and the genius’s fists clench. What the fuck does that mean? “I’m going to fuck you senseless and strip you of the luxury blanket you so mercilessly ripped from me.” 

Tony’s throat goes dry and he isn’t sure he says another word after that sentence. Every bone in his body feels like stiff ice and he can’t fucking move. The way Jasper hungrily stalks toward the billionaire makes him all too terrified and he begins to writhe desperately. Seeing his struggling, the soon-to-be-rapist clenches his hand around Tony’s cock and squeezes- not lightly, either. This sudden forceful move causes a low whimper to leave Tony’s jaws and he stares at Jasper in shock. He should’ve expected it, coming from a man as fucking crazy as this, but he didn’t. In fact, Tony hadn’t ever really seen it coming. Despite everything, Jasper had been quite gentle the hour before. Now his anger seems to be slipping out in different ways and he wonders how bad it will be once the other man is... inside of him. That makes him shiver. “Dear Tony, don’t move too much, please. I’d rather not have to torture you further.”

Jasper smiles and Tony swears he sees the devil deep within those green eyes. It’s like he’s lost at sea with no where to go but the very depths of the monster itself. It’s an all too familiar feeling with Afghanistan and Tony isn’t sure he’ll be able to hold out without having flashbacks. Upon hearing his hushed silence, Jasper pulls his hand away and rubs it up against Tony’s breast, twirling his nipple with his index finger and resting his chin above the billionaire’s waist. “You truly are beautiful, Tony. I wish I would’ve seen that before you’d hurt me. Then again, it wouldn’t matter all that much, now would it?” Jasper forces a smile and the brown-haired male makes himself be quiet when he feels his nipple stroked. He can hardly dwell on the words.

Jasper is taking it slow, but Tony wishes he’d just get it over with. He can’t stand the revulsion creeping up his chest and sinking into his body, leaving him a fragment of the man he was. Tony just wants it to end before he gets too fucked up. But then again... maybe he deserves this. 

Jasper strokes his own dick lightly for a few short moments before hoisting himself up, showing his teeth in a genuine grin. “I’ve been planning this for years, Tony. I can’t tell you how excited I was to have played with your cock; now, I’m actually going to fuck you. It’s like two cakes on my birthday.” He pauses. “Have you ever had sex with a man, Tony?”

 _No. No, I haven’t, and I haven’t ever wanted to, but now I have no choice. Now, you’re ripping that safety away from me and it’s horrible. Stop. Please stop. I don’t want this. Fucking stop, please._ No words leave his lips, however, so Jasper takes this as a no. He seems even happier at the prospect and Tony has to force himself not to throw up at that look. “That’s great, Tony. It means I’ll be the first to have fucked your virgin ass. I wonder how tight you are? How much can I break you? God, so many questions are going through my mind and I’m not sure I can hold it back.”

Jasper lifts his head as if remembering something and turns, rummaging through the drawer before he pulls out lube. He applies it around his cock and rubs around Tony’s asshole, which causes him to strain. Jasper takes no notice to his sudden squirming and throws the substance across the room, licking his lips hungrily. “Now it’s time, Tony. Please, moan for me. It’ll make me the happiest man in the world.”

Jasper enters him softer than Tony would’ve thought, but it hurts. The other man’s penis stretches against his walls and he lets out a gasp of pain, his fingers curling tightly into the duvet. Jasper lets his member slide in deeper, going as slow as possible before pulling back. He pushes his body forward again and a rhythmic thrust begins to make its appearance. Tony has a hard time keeping quiet and watches in horror when he gains another boner. _Fuck! No! Not again! Please... please no..._ A strangled cry leaves his lips, but comes out as more of a moan. Jasper sees this as an opportunity to begin to pump his member inside faster.

His heart feels like it’s crumbling. His body must be set aflame right now because Tony hasn’t ever felt this kind of pain in his life. He can feel the orgasm tingle up his spine and through the tips of his fingers, temporarily numbing his mind as the bed begins to shake with the driving exertion of Jasper’s cock. His legs begin to shake and he starts to sob when the other man gives another handjob to Tony _while fucking him._ It’s sure to be the worst feeling he’s ever had, and the billionaire isn’t sure anything will ever beat this record in terms of shame. 

The orgasm grows in climax and, as he spurts his own cum out, his body begins to bounce back against Jasper’s balls. The headboard bangs against the wall as the thrusts grow increasing more painful, fast, and rough. A scream rips out of Tony’s throat and he can’t stop the way his hips grind against Jasper’s dick, or the way the rapist leads his hand to massage his testicles. His back arches and the orgasm crashes hard. He can feel warm cum spew inside of him and he moans loudly, grabbing Jasper’s hands, trembling. The tears are still running down his cheeks and he feels another type of substance trickle out of his asshole when Jasper pulls out. He isn’t quite sure if it’s sperm or blood.

Tony is 90% sure something is ripped down there, but he knows he can’t check and he isn’t sure he’ll ever have the strength to look back again. Everything in his body hurts and he flinches away from Jasper’s grasp, muffled cries leaving his mouth.

The rapist snorts and slaps Tony’s ass, sinking forward into the bedsheets. “You’re a good fuck for a gay virgin, Tony. I’m proud of your work tonight. Because of that, I’ll let you off early. Sound good, baby?” The word _baby_ feels like fire scorching his back. He never wanted it to be used in this way. But all he can do is give a weak nod and, seeming content, Jasper throws his clothes on and shuts the door softly behind him.

Tony weeps.

──────────

Tony isn’t sure how long it’s been. He knows that after the event Jasper staggers off, clearly content with the billionaire’s silence, and falls asleep; Tony confirms that from the other man’s loud snores. He tries to claw his way out of the ropes but they rub his skin off and he’s forced to lie here, naked, exposed, and dirty. He feels fucking disgusting and it takes every fiber of his being to not scream cuss words at Jasper.

He falls asleep, he thinks. Tony can remember the sun filtering through the draped window but he must’ve blacked out - from shock, pain, and every other fucked emotion going through his mind. It’s apparent he’s shaking most of the day, trying to calm himself down with breathing exercises, but nothing seems to work. Without JARVIS or Pepper, the latter not even being around as much anymore, Tony feels like a helpless animal left in the middle of a desert to fend for itself.

 _But I survived Afghanistan. I took the pain, thought clearly, and found a way to escape. I can do the same thing here. I can. I just need to wait until Jasper returns.. and then I’ll make my move_. Tony isn’t sure what his move is but he knows it will be genius, nonetheless. 

So he waits. His throat is dry, he’s sure his stomach is turning over on itself, and he’ll gasp out for water every now and then. Tony is physically drained and he needs something to give him that energy back, but with Jasper god knows where, he knows his chances are slim to none.

What Tony doesn’t expect is for Jasper to throw himself into the room during the middle of the next night, eyes wide and bloodshot red, fists clenched to white as he grips the handle of the bed. He’s drunk, the brown-haired male can tell. This is either a really good thing or a really bad thing.

Jasper must be able to tell how parched Tony is because his eyes fall guilty for a moment until it’s covered up with fiery embers of green. The intoxicated male lands forward, grabbing Tony’s thigh. The billionaire’s breathing hitches. “What a fucking slut. Thirsty for more, I see? Well, you’re going to give me exactly what I want. I’m tired of pleasuring you. I’m tired of being Mister Nice Guy. Tonight, I’m going to make sure you pay for the hell you’ve put me through.”

Those words hardly have a lasting effect on Tony as Jasper strips his clothes off aggressively. The brown-haired man begins to hyperventilate, panic seeping into his chest and spreading like sand. He can’t stop the panic attack that’s settling inside and tears begin to fall but- but- he has to think rationally! He must! Jasper is drunk, he can take advantage of that fact, right? Tony tries to create an escape plan quickly but Jasper is already yanking the ropes off of the other, his gaze holding lust and... _rage_. Tony wonders if Jasper is aware how easy he’s making it for the man to escape.

“I want to get the full force of that beautiful mouth. Hot, wet, sexy. Now fucking suck me off before I pound your head in.” Tony tries to break away but Jasper puts his full force on the billionaire’s neck and forces him to go down on his cock. Tony gags and tries to claw the green-eyed male but he’s too weak. A day of emotional and physical exhaustion, add on to the fact that he hasn’t eaten or drank _anything_ , he’s completely fucking out of it. Jasper begins to harshly thrust his dick into the back of Tony’s throat, moaning loudly. “Fuck yeah, baby~ suck my cock like I know you want to!” Tony shivers in disgust and acts before he can even think; he isn’t sure if this is a good idea anyway, but he hopes it will at least do _something._

So, Tony bites down on Jasper’s cock.

A gurgling scream wrenches from the rapist’s throat and he falls backward, holding his dick in his hands. Tony freezes momentarily, but eventually throws a pair of pants and a baggy green shirt on. He watches for a moment as Jasper writhes in pain on the floor, then turns and runs for his life.

And thus the chase begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone! o thanks for checking out the beginning of this story i really appreciate it actually. i love angst you could consider me a total angstoholic so this fic is perfect for me to write. 
> 
> anyway comments, kudos, and bookmarks are really really really enjoyed! especially comments!! like, seriously, they make my world and they only take a couple seconds to a few minutes to write... eh? eh? wink wink? nudge nudge?
> 
> just kidding, yalls support is all i need so i can actually get these chapters out i’m a known procrastinator. this chapter was written last year since i unpublished this book lol but decided to bring it back so newer chapters will be newer writing. yep
> 
> ok i’m finished rambling thx for stopping by bc i need friends and emotional support


	2. Deathtrap, Without the Death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- WARNING: Please skip/do not read further if you are triggered by sexual and/or physical assault. This includes whipping, edging, rape, and more. You have been warned. -

Tony knows he doesn’t have much time before Jasper pursues, and is also aware that he has absolutely no idea where he even is. On top of that, he can hardly feel his legs, his bottom half feels ripped open (maybe it is?) and he’s so dehydrated he can hardly put one foot in front of the other.

He lets out a choked groan as he stumbles out of the room, Jasper’s strangled cry echoing in his mind. Tony squints through the swathed shadows blanketing the house, trying to figure out where he is, how he can escape, if he can hide anywhere, if there are any weapons he can use. But his mind is foggy and he can only guess it’s from the trauma, but he hates it, he doesn’t want any of it, he just wants to be _safe_.

Footsteps patter behind him and Tony nearly screams. He can’t help it — the fear is overwhelming. He wants to escape. He can’t do this. He — he _can’t_. So, the best thing he can think to do is throw himself into an empty room to his right. His legs tangle beneath him and he ends up falling to the ground in a heap, biting the inside of his cheek.

He’s silent. Tony can hear his breath rattling in his chest and wonders if Jasper can hear it, too. He curls his fingers into the palms of his hands and closes his eyes, trying to come up with some kind of master plan. His mind runs short.

His heart nearly jumps into his throat when the thuds grow increasingly louder. Tony ignores the fear brewing and stays as still as possible, hoping to god that Jasper will pass by the room, that he won’t see the dark shape on the ground, that he won’t hear anything and, most of all, will leave a window for Tony to escape.

Unfortunately, none of that seems to work.

“There you are.” A rough voice jerks him from his silence, and a heavy weight falls on his back. Tony thrashes away from the hands gripping his body and flips on his back, aiming for Jasper’s nose. The man swoops out of the way and butts Tony in the face, smirking wickedly. Stars swim in Tony’s vision and his limbs go numb. 

The next moments are a blur for Tony. He can feel himself being jerked to his feet, and realizes that he’s being led back to the room, that dreadful room, and tries to scream. His throat is so raw that he can’t even open his mouth, though, and comes to the conclusion that there’s no way he’s going to be saved, not right now at least.

He eventually feels the soft bed dip under his weight, and blinks through the black spots. Jasper takes a hold of Tony’s chin and snaps his head up, green eyes narrowed against the darkness of the room. “I didn’t want it to have to come to this, but it seems I can’t trust you. Oh well. Your loss.” The ropes are tied back around his hands, except this time, Jasper pins Tony’s arms behind his back and lifts him to his feet. He lowers a hanging chain from the ceiling and attaches it to a hook on the rope, holding Tony fully upwards because he can’t support his own weight any other way. The carpet tickles his bare feet but he doesn’t care, he can hardly feel anything but exhaustion and disgust. 

A water bottle is suddenly lifted to his lips. Tony desperately opens his cracked lips and lets the coolness cascade down his throat. The water is lukewarm, he would’ve preferred it to be freezing cold, but can’t bring himself to even complain up in that fucked up head of his. Tony can feel the sweat trickling down his forehead and body, only now realizing that he’d made his run completely naked.

Jasper leans forward without warning and his hot, raspy breath tickles Tony’s ear. “I’ll be back,” he warns. “I’ll have to punish you for your behavior tonight. But... that will come tomorrow..” He grins and leans back. “Have a great night, Anthony.”

As soon as Jasper leaves the room, Tony succumbs to the fatigue, and he’s finally blanketed in soft clouds of warmth and comfort.

──────────

Tony is awoken by a sharp pain in his hands. He groans, wiggling his fingers, nearly buckling when he realizes how fucking _sore_ his legs are. Sunlight filters through the red drapes and sprinkles over his face, glittering golden and yellow rays in his eyes. He drops his head and draws in a hoarse breath when he remembers everything that happened last night. _I tried to escape, he was drunk, yet he still caught me...at least he let me sleep. I was exhausted from everything._

His lips thin into a line and he grunts from the ropes painfully rubbing against his skin, splitting his wrists open into bleeding scabs that trickle down his arms. Every time Tony tries to move, he nearly screams in agony from the pain. If he were to be let out of these ropes, he knows he would fall and not be able to lift himself up for at least days. _This is posing a problem if I ever want to get out of here.._

Tony isn’t sure how long he hangs there. The only time he really comes back to reality is when footsteps echo down the hallway. He instinctively tenses, trying to cover his nude body, but can’t move, like, at all. The door clicks open when a key is jammed inside, and Jasper strolls through, glancing at Tony. “Ah. Anthony.” He smiles. “You’re awake!”

He doesn’t respond and instead painfully turns his head to the side, tears prickling his eyes when his hands begin to rub on the tight rope.

“I’m sorry about last night,” Jasper murmurs, shutting and locking the door before sliding over to Tony. “I didn’t mean to get so drunk... but you, you _betrayed_ me, Anthony. I can’t trust you anymore. You realize that, I hope?”

Tony mutters something under his breath and Jasper quirks a brow. “What was that?” He grunts the same thing, a tiny bit louder, forcing his captor to lean closer. “What are you saying?”

“I said BURN IN HELL!” Tony jerks forward and slams his head into Jasper’s nose. He gasps at the stinging spreading all through his body, choking back a cry. His captor’s eyes flicker with rage as he wipes blood from his nose, which Tony unfortunately didn’t break. _Damnit.._

“Now you’ve _really_ made me angry,” Jasper hisses. He roughly handles Tony’s hips, bringing him closer and grinding his exposed privates over his own jeans. “That was a bad idea.”

The pure ice speckled in Jasper’s words make Tony freeze. He hasn’t felt this way since, well, since back in Afghanistan. But he’d even prefer that over this. This, this psychological torture, his body betraying him, his limp cock beginning to harden.

And Jasper _always_ notices. Just like right now.

“Ah. Got a little friend, hm?” His captor smirks at his boner and turns to the drawer next to him, bringing out a thin whip as he eyes Tony. “We’re going to have some fun today, Anthony. I know you’ll love it.”

Tony would have spit in his face if he could, but no saliva would even form in his mouth. He’s so fucking thirsty, he feels like he’s back in that god forbidden desert. Maybe that’s better to think about. Better than the disgust slowly crawling into his insides and the humiliation if anyone else ever finds him like this.

Jasper slides to his knees and wraps a hand around Tony’s hard cock, running his fingers over the edges. He lets the balls run through his hands and exhales. “Fuck, I’m hard.” And he isn’t lying. Tony can see the bulge growing in Jasper’s pants.

His captor begins to slowly jerk Tony off, being as deliberately gentle as possible. He runs his hand to the end of his dick and thumbs the tip, squeezing the head and smirking when Tony began to kick desperately. He wants to scream, he wants to cry, but most of all, he wants to kill the man that’s doing this to him. He wants to wrap his hands and choke the life out of Jasper. He wants to gouge his eyes out, or use his suit to fly him as high up as possible and watch him fall to his death. But none of those are even nearly vengeful enough. He wants to do something so terrible, he won’t even be able to live with himself after.

Tony isn’t even sure he can live with himself _now_.

When Jasper begins to speed up his rhythm, Tony feels the tingling at the base of his cock and his insides begin to churn. He blows out a mix of a moan and a horrified gasp. Tony unconsciously jerks his hips into Jasper’s grip and begins to ache. _Please, stop, stop, please, I can’t take it anymore, stop... STOP..!_

“Don’t cum, Tony,” Jasper warns, “or I’ll whip you. You’ll cum when I _tell_ you to cum. Understand me?”

Tony hardly hears him. The pain is a whole new kind and he begins to grunt, fingers and toes curling. “I can’t — I can’t—” Pre-cum begins to leak out of his tip. The whip suddenly comes down on his cock and Tony screams as loud as he can, the noise dying in his throat when his legs stop working beneath him.

“I told you,” Jasper growls. “Don’t. Cum.”

And Jasper just jerks him faster and faster, harder and harder. Spots dance in his vision and Tony feels like he’s going to pass out. The feelings inside him are like those of a parasite, eating him alive and ripping away anything good and healthy. _No, no, no, don’t cum, don’t cum, please..._

But god, he can’t hold back. He begins to scream in pain and pleasure, however fucked up that is, and lets his body go. Cum splutters out of his cock and sprays all over Jasper’s clothes. A warm, heavy gasp wrenches from his lips and leaves him breathless as he hangs there, panting and crying.

Jasper tuts and frowns, glancing at Tony’s now flaccid cock. “What did I tell you?” His captor brings the whip to Tony’s stomach but hovers over it for a moment. “Hmm... perhaps I can find a more suitable punishment for your unwillingness to listen.” He grins like a maniac and drops the whip where he stands, twisting around and digging around the drawer again. This time, he pulls out a mouth gag.

Tony already knows where this is going. He tries to beg with his captor, but his tongue is scorched and everything hurts and he’s so fucking humiliated he can’t even lift his head. Jasper walks over and roughly shoves the ball in his mouth, clipping it behind his head and smiling. “That’s better. No more whining.”

Tears begin to well in Tony’s eyes and drip to his chin because he can’t move to wipe them. Even if he could, he’s not sure he’d have the energy to. He tries to scream around the gag but it comes out strangled, broken, and inaudible. Saliva drips from the ball and he lets the shame shake him all over. _So this is how Tony Stark is going to go out... how sad._

Jasper begins to strip. Tony is lolling in and out of consciousness, hardly aware of the hands groping his sides, of the pressure on his chest and the pain stinging in his anus. He’s fairly sure Jasper has already entered him, but is too out of it now to tell. He hardens again and grunts through the ball when the pace quickens. Jasper begins thrusting mercilessly and tears him open. Tony wants to scream, but he can’t... god, he’s going to cum again..

Jasper finishes inside him and slumps on Tony’s chest, playing with his nipples. His hand snakes down to the genius’s hard cock and he jerks the rest out before Tony is completely exhausted. “Good boy,” Jasper whispers, kissing his neck and chest. He rolls the skin through his teeth and leaves hickeys all around Tony’s body. 

He doesn’t care. Well, of course he does, but — he just can’t feel right now. It’s his mind’s way of protecting him, its way of making sure that Tony isn’t completely traumatized for life. But based on last night, as well as today, he’s pretty sure recovery will be impossible.

“I’ll let you rest,” Jasper murmurs, ripping himself away from Tony, eyes flickering over the marks he’s left. He smiles. “I’m so happy we’re together now, Tony. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

Tony can’t comprehend the words — he doesn’t even see Jasper leave, and doesn’t realize he’s falling into a deep slumber.

He just wishes he could die.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i got no comments last chapter :(


	3. Peripeteia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- WARNING: Please skip/do not read further if you are triggered by sexual and/or physical assault. You have been warned. -

Jasper’s length slides in and out of Tony. The sound of slapping skin filling his ears, except everything appears to be layered behind cotton. Tony is trying to move, trying to get away, but he just _can’t_. Jasper’s strangled moans dive into his lips, and a tongue sneaks into his mouth. Tony chokes and flails, crying out when the orgasm builds and builds until he releases what’s inside.

Warmth spreads through his anus and Jasper leans back, falling onto Tony’s chest. They’re laying on the bed — he’s _finally_ been taken down from the chain and rope — but he’s so mentally and physically exhausted, Jasper doesn’t have to worry about him trying to escape.

“Wonderful, Anthony,” Jasper praises, bucking his hips and letting his cock slip back inside. Tony begins to cry, the tears streaking down his cheeks, tickling his ears as they drip. _Please, stop, please stop, I don’t want this, I can’t do it anymore, please.._

Those green eyes carefully review Tony’s hurt, clouded bambi ones. “Do you want to cum again? I’ve always heard the third time’s a charm.” Jasper smirks and begins thrusting once more. The pain is so horrid, Tony sees black spots. He’s pretty sure he passes out, because when he wakes up, Jasper is gone and he’s all alone and naked on the bed, completely unable to move.

He is briefly aware of the sunlight flitting over the curtains and pooling on his face, but he’s too disoriented to tell, and his body hurts so fucking badly he’s not even sure his brain is working right. He’s dehydrated, starving, weak, and aching all over from the... well..

Tony can guess that it’s been at least five hours since Jasper left him, and the darkness spilling over the room means it’s evening, close to night... He groans and wipes his face with the back of his hand, eyes flickering to the side. And suddenly, there he sees it.

A... wire..?

It wouldn’t look like much for normal people — you know, just a wire, right? But Tony’s far from normal. A wire means technology, technology means JARVIS, and JARVIS means escape.

 _Escape_.

The adrenaline flowing through his veins is a hard contrast to what he’s been feeling these past few days. _A wire, a wire will lead to at least a phone or some other device, then I can reroute the network to JARVIS and have him rescue me, oh thank god..._

Suddenly the world is overshadowed when he realizes that... that if the Avengers come to rescue him and find Tony like this, stripped naked with cum and dirt and sweat all over him, they’ll either see him as a slut with a BDSM kink, or realize how fucking pathetic he is because he was _raped_.

He begins to shiver. This means he’ll have to escape himself... fuck, that makes things _infinitely_ more difficult now. If he had something to smash he would, but his muscles are so tired he still can hardly move.

Tony screws his eyes shut and breathes out. Okay, no worries, he’s fine. He’s _fine_. He just needs to get the strength to find whatever the wire leads to. He narrows his eyes and grits his teeth, lifting his elbows. It’s agonizingly slow and painful as hell, but it doesn’t really matter because soon he’s sitting up, black speckles stinging his vision, fingers curling into the mattress.

He tilts his head to the side and carefully picks his feet up off the bed, letting the carpet tickle his toes and collapsing on his knees as soon as he takes his body weight off of the bed. Tony stumbles and catches himself before he slams his forehead on the nightstand, and his eyes flicker to the wire. He lays on his stomach, fishing for something in the darkness that’s under the bed.

Tony eventually grabs a hold of something. His heart leaps into his throat and he drags it to him, and is shocked to find that Jasper’s left a phone. Kind of like the ones in hotels. He dials the override code with shaking fingers and brings the phone to his ear, laying still and flat on the floor, stones dropping down his eyelids. He can hardly stay awake.

“Sir?!”

When the muffled voice crackles through the speaker, Tony nearly cries. He smiles softly, for once in a long time, and exhales. “JARVIS..” The whisper rumbles against his throat and it hurts to talk, but he’s so, so happy he’s back in touch with his AI. 

“Sir, I was so afraid — no one could find you.” JARVIS actually sounds terrified, but that sweet relief trickles into the British accent. “Where are you? Shall I notify the Avengers?”

“No,” Tony says quickly, biting the inside of his cheek. “JARVIS, I — I’m so excited to talk, but, look, I’m in a little situation right, right now.” His voice dies and he can feel his consciousness pulling him down by threads. 

“The Avengers have been worried, Sir, I do believe it is best if I —”

“Please.” Tony nearly drops his face to the floor. “Listen. Override code AGOT69954GPETN.” Even in his state, he can remember the codes like it’s his own name. He just needs to do this so JARVIS can’t work his way around the system and inform the Avengers of his state. “Can you track my location?”

“Of course.” There’s a pause and the silence buzzes in Tony’s ears for so long that it feels like hours. When JARVIS speaks again, he remembers why he needs to stay awake. This is serious. This is _escape_. “You seem to be in a warehouse somewhere in upper Harlem. May I call a limo?”

“Yeah,” he mutters. “Find the blueprint. Tell me how the hell to get, to get out of here.” The shadows swirling in his vision are growing worse and worse.

There’s another beat of quiet before JARVIS talks. “There’s an exit down a hallway of the room you are located in. However, you are one story below the ground. If you can slip into the elevator by the stairs, you can escape. It’s Sunday — there are no workers today.”

Tony makes a mental note to research the building later. “Okay.” His voice breaks and he tries to stop the tears from leaking out of his eyes. “Thank you, JARVIS...”

“Sir?” His AI sounds more worried than usual. Tony is so out of it that he can’t even think about the long amounts of time passing between each word.

“Yes?”

“You’re going to be okay.” Those words soothe the dread and fear crawling up Tony’s chest, spilling him in icy black before being washed away by JARVIS’s voice.

“Okay. Goodbye, JARVIS.” Tony drops the phone out of his shaking hands and breathes out, closing his eyes and hoping for a quick and easy escape. It’s Sunday, so that means there won’t be any workers, which means he has a very good window to escape in. If he can get his shit together and move his screaming legs, maybe he can actually escape.

Standing here definitely isn’t going to help.

Tony turns to make his way toward the door, but it blows back so hard he’s sure it’s ripped off of its hinges. Jasper is standing in the hallway, eyes narrowed and fists clenched at his sides. He takes one look at Tony’s naked body and scowls. “What are you doing?”

He forgot that he was nude, but the problem honestly hasn’t really occur to him until now. He doesn’t respond, locking his lips tight, and thinks about everything that had happened here over the past few days. He’s been raped more times than he can count, had one failed escape attempt, and was drained of food and water. Tony can hardly move. The only thing he’s running on now is adrenaline — and not being an actual superhero, Tony can admit that he didn’t have much fight left.

“I’m standing,” he says back, voice low and raspy in the back of his throat.

Jasper strolls forward, harshly gripping Tony’s shoulders. His eyes deliberately soften and he smiles sweetly. “Tony, babe. Come on. Lay down. You’re disoriented — let me bring you a water.”

 _Babe_ stains his mind and Tony nearly gags. “I’m not — no.” He flinches back, squeezing his eyes shut and tapping his forehead harshly. He doesn’t know what to do. _Come on, Tony, think, think!_

Jasper suddenly stiffens, eyes narrowed. “Are you running from me, Tony?”

He stares back up at his captor, eyes fueled with fire and fingers curling into his palms. “You’re a monster,” he hisses. “Of course I’m running away! I don’t belong to you! You’re a fucking rapist! Now let me go before the police get here.”

Tony has no time to think before Jasper shoves him to the ground and bounces his skull off of the floor. Stars swim in his vision and he feels those thick fingers scrape into his scalp, pulling his hair up. Tony meets a green glare. “I’m not the bad one, Tony,” Jasper snarls like a rabid animal. “You’ve killed so many people, but you know that, don’t you? Don’t kid yourself — this is what you want. You want me to fuck you, you want me to starve you, because at the end of the day it’s what you deserve.”

“Fuck you.” Tony tries desperately to wriggle away, but he’s so weak and he’s hungry and thirsty and the flames are dying and he doesn’t want to do this anymore. Maybe Jasper is right. Maybe he’s not even worth saving anymore.

Jasper bends down to Tony’s eye level, gripping his face. “I think it’s time I stop going so easy on you.” He turns the genius around and places his hand on his back, shoving him to the carpet. Tony’s blood turns to ice when he hears Jasper’s belt unbuckling. “If you think you have it bad, then wait until I’m done with you.”

And god, Tony wants to run away so badly, but he _can’t_. His hands are shaking and the black spots dancing in his vision don’t help him find an escape route. Jasper bends over his back and slips two fingers into his hole, then a third, stretching him out in preparation. “I want to hear you _scream_.” That laugh chills Tony and he cries out when Jasper roughly enters him. He doubles over and his cheek slams into the floor, his body sliding back and forth with each horrible, painful thrust. His skin begins to burn as it rubs the carpet and tears slide down his cheeks, sobs leaving his mouth.

Each time Jasper’s cock hits his prostrate Tony screams out in pain. He feels his captor’s hand squeeze his dick and attempt to harden him, but he’s so traumatized and hopeless that his body won’t even let him become hard. Jasper’s nails run down Tony’s back, blood dribbling down his sides, and brokenly moans when he releases inside. Bile rises in his throat as he’s turned back around, Jasper smiling wickedly down at him. “I’m going to fuck you twice every day now. No lube, no pleasure.. maybe I’ll even chop your fucking dick off.” He curls his lip. “That’s what you deserve for trying to run away.”

Tony screams as loud as he can and his legs sprawl out, smacking Jasper in the jaw with a sickening pop. His captor yells in agony, falling face-first to the ground and squirming in pain. Tony hardly realizes what he’s done before he’s on his feet, rifling through the drawer and finding an old, long and worn shirt. He runs out of the room, slamming the door behind him, and tears his way into the cloth. “Okay, okay, where — where do I go? Fuck..” He tries to remember his conversation with JARVIS, brushing away the fog clouding his mind... _There’s an elevator and a set of stairs. I can do this. I can do this!_

Ignoring the fact that he’s dripping with blood, Tony finds the elevator quickly and taps the button as many times as possible. However, nothing is happening. He bites his lip and his heart leaps into his chest when the door to that dreadful room slams open and Jasper comes staggering down the hallway. “Get back here, you slut!”

 _Stairs it is.._ Tony stumbles up the stairwell and his breaths come in short pants, feet moving so quickly his mind can’t even follow what’s happening. Footsteps pound behind him, growing closer and closer, and Tony screams. Long fingers wrap around his ankle and bring him to the ground. He tips his head and narrowly misses a sharp ledge that most definitely would have cracked his head open, and turns around, clawing Jasper with his newly-grown sharp fingernails. “FUCK YOU!” he yells, weakly throwing punches and rolling over when Jasper attempts to hold him down by the throat. Tony realizes his captor doesn’t have pants on and kicks him in the cock. 

Jasper looks blinded for a moment as he rolls down the stairs, bending over his body and rolling back and forth. Tony wastes no time scrambling back to his feet and throws himself out of the double doors at the top of the stairwell, running out as fast as he can. He doesn’t have much time to observe everything, but it looks like some type of shipping warehouse as far as he can tell. 

When Tony makes it to the edge of the building, he fumbles with a doorknob and flies through it, nearly falling when the sunlight streams onto his pale and bruised face. He ignores the headache beginning to pound in his head and spots a shimmering black limo parked on the street. His heart feels light. Tony staggers to the door and peels it open, falling into the back of the car and breathing out. He doesn’t see the driver, doesn’t realize he’s closed the door, and hardly notices when they begin to speed away from the warehouse.

Tony can only recognize one thing.

He’s _safe_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is a little shorter! I wanted to get it out so you guys had _something_ to read, and decided that was enough of a stopping point!
> 
> So, Tony’s finally away from Jasper...but there’s still so much more to come! Gosh, you guys are gonna love the angst. Seriously.
> 
> Next up: Tony makes it back to the tower and has a bit of a heated argument with Captain American’t-stay-out-of-your-business. He just wants some sleep, man!


	4. Home

Tony’s homesickness is the understatement of the entire fucking century. Rolling up to the tower fills him with pulsing joy; tears begin to trickle down his eyes from the excitement. The car stops by the side of the road, the lights pooling down into the windows. It’s nearing sundown, trails of red and orange painting the sky with long fingers. 

“Thank you,” he murmurs groggily to the driver, who turns and eyes him with worry. Tony blinks slowly, trying to think. “I’ll send you a million dollars for what you did for me. You saved me.” His voice begins to die, and no amount of throat clearing saves it. “Please don’t tell anyone what you saw. I’d be eternally grateful.”

The driver’s eyes have widened into pools of confusion, shock, and appreciation. “I — I can’t, I can’t take that money —”

“You can, and you will.” Tony smiles weakly, reaching for the door handle. “JARVIS will send over your name and address. It should be shipped within the next few days.”

The driver starts to cry. “Thank you,” he whispers. “I — I would hug you if I could.”

The thought of physical affection repulses Tony. “No, it’s okay,” he murmurs, nodding and slipping out of the car. He watches the limo drive off eventually and stands there under the street lamp, raising his eyes to the sky. _I’m free. I hardly know what to do with myself._ Well, for starters, _shower_.

Tony rounds the back of the building and punches in a code, the door squeaking open as he walks inside. The back way is easiest, just in case the other Avengers are here. Tony doesn’t want them seeing him like this. That being said, the sooner he moves his ass, the better. He jumps into the elevator and presses for the top of the tower, exhaling when it begins to move. He’s passed the living area but figures none of his friends had noticed. The elevator was silent unless he was stopping at that floor.

When Tony steps out into his lab, he falls to his knees at the sight of Dum-E and U. “Oh, thank God,” he cries, hugging his whirring creation tight to his chest, feeling the arc reactor pulse within his body. “I missed you guys so much.”

“We missed you too, Sir.” JARVIS’s voice is another warm welcoming and he breaks down in tears immediately, hands splaying to his sides and head weakly hanging. Dum-E tilts his head to the side in confusion and prods his creator softly, rubbing along his side. “Sir, would you like me to alert the Avengers about your arrival? I can specifically call Dr. Banner to check your wounds.”

“No.” The words fly out of Tony’s mouth before he even has time to think. “I’m sorry, JARVIS, but not now.” His voice breaks as he shakily rises to his feet, stumbling towards the bathroom. “Don’t ever tell anyone about this.”

JARVIS is silent, the disapproval thickening the room, and Tony only sighs in response. He closes the door behind him, raising his eyes to the mirror, and nearly falls over at his appearance.

Tony’s hair is matted and shines with grime and dirt. The huge shirt loosely hangs on his body, his ribs jutting out in angles that shouldn’t be possible on a human being. His eyes are dull and there are dark rings beneath them, sinking his cheeks in and making him appear as though he’d just crawled out of a grave. His hands are trembling horribly, and even more so when he slips the shirt off. It reeks of sweat and cum and blood and he starts to softly cry.

His body is a mess, too. There are lines of bruises all up and down his chest from where Jasper had roughly grabbed, shoved, and pushed him. There’s a ring of fading hickeys along his neck that he hadn’t realized were there, and his lips are so chapped he has to look away. Blood trickles down his legs and begins to pool at his feet, and as the adrenaline eventually wears off, the pain begins to hit.

Tony is torn down there and he knows it. He’s terrified to look, terrified to see how much he’d been ripped open, horrified to know that he’d just been raped hours before. Traffic was a bitch to get back to the tower, but he’s still grateful for the driver getting him out of that horrible situation. 

His cock is the worst, though. It pulses with black and purple, looking as if a wheel had rolled over and crushed it. That’s what it feels like. He’d never had to forcefully cum so much in his life, and god, Tony feels _sick_ because of it. He turns and staggers to the ground, the bile rising in his throat and causing him to release everything that’s inside. He starts to sob, flinching from the acid that burns his mouth, and leans back, flushing the toilet as he props himself against the wall.

“JARVIS, start the shower,” he murmurs, eyes fluttering shut. They snap open when the water runs from the faucet, and Tony quickly relaxes himself. _You’re fine. Jasper isn’t here, no one’s going to hurt you, you aren’t chained up any more.._ Even then, he’s still unsure, and meekly climbes into the shower to wash off.

And god damn, that water feels fucking amazing. It laps at his skin and tears away the grime, pulling the disgust down with it as it sinks through the plug at the bottom. Tony tangles his fingers through his hair for at least fifteen minutes, mixing as much shampoo and conditioner in as he possibly can. The water is freezing cold, so he turns the knob as far as it can go.

It’s like fire. Tony nearly screams from the pain but allows it to stream onto him, closing his eyes and thickly breathing through his nose. He tightens his lips and ducks his head under the shower head, trickles of white and brown dripping off of his body. Tony reaches for a sponge and scrubs his body until it’s raw, red spots burning along his chest and back. He eventually grows used to the water and watches the fog swirl to the ceiling, enclosing him in what feels like a sauna.

That disgust still clings to him, though. No matter how hard he scrubs, no matter how hard he washes, the feeling won’t leave with all of the dirt. He screams as loud as he can, bending his head and pushing his forehead into the palms of his hands. Tony can’t take this. He can’t take feeling this way. He’d been continuously peering outside of the shower curtain, trying to tell whether or not Jasper was coming after him, and it’s fucking pathetic. _He’s not_ , Tony tries to tell himself, but no amount of self-comforting will work. Nothing is working anymore.

Tony finally turns the water off and staggers out of the shower, falling to the ground in a shivering heap of bones. He curls in on himself and holds his head in his fingers, sobbing uncontrollably. The memories flashing through his mind are beginning to take control of him; Tony can’t see anything else. He feels Jasper roughly handling him, grinding his cock inside of Tony and biting on his neck and chest. He feels the hands playing with his nipples and the despair that comes along with watching his own body disobey him and cum with Jasper. It all becomes too much.

“Sir. Sir, please, may I call Dr. Banner? You appear to be having a panic attack.” JARVIS’s voice slowly reels Tony back into the real world, but he’s still crying hysterically, the tears blurring his vision. Tony reaches up and slips a towel over his body, not able to look at himself any longer. He’s disgusting. It was the only word he can use to describe himself now.

“No,” Tony croaks back eventually, attempting to stand and having about as much trouble as a child taking its first steps. “I — fuck, I can’t walk.” He hisses in pain when his arms collide with the floor, the carpet burns rubbing the wrong way. Tony opens the bathroom door and crawls out, squeezing his eyes shut from the light streaming into his vision. JARVIS takes notice and immediately dims the lights. He’s so lucky. He doesn’t deserve his AIs.

Tony makes it to his bed and heaves himself up on top of it, falling on his back and staring at the ceiling, towel wetting the bed beneath him. He doesn’t care. He wants to lay here forever. Maybe sink into the ground and just die. That would be better for everyone. Then he won’t have to think about what happened anymore. He would be free of those memories. It’s all he wants.

 _Stop being a pussy and get up_ , another voice hisses in his head. Tony really doesn’t want to but decided to comply anyway, lifting himself up and blinking at the fresh set of clothes sitting on his nightstand. _Bruce...I’ll have to thank him later.._ Tony wastes no time throwing the clothes on over his damp body, nearly throwing up from the touch. He hates it, honestly.

 _God...I just need to sleep..._ Tony winces and ignores the wounds, resting his head on the pillow and letting his body flop on the bed. He sinks into the mattress and drags the covers over his head, blinding the colors out with a sheet of cotton. He buries his head in the blankets and lets his body slowly fall, fall, fall...

______________

JARVIS’s voice is what initially rouses Tony. He blinks and groans softly, rubbing his eyes and throwing the sheets off. “What?” he snaps, not having heard what was said before. He’s just tired and he wants to sleep. Is it so fucking hard to let him do that?

“I apologize for waking you Sir, but Mr. Rogers is demanding you speak to him.” There’s a hint of worry and anger there, but Tony completely misses it. His head isn’t in the right place right now.

“Tell him to leave,” he grumbles, turning on his side and whimpering when he feels himself tear again. _Fuck!_ The pain is blinding and sends spots dancing over his vision.

“I’m sorry, Sir, but he says he’s going to sit outside the door until you let him in.”

“Then he can sit there and starve for all I care.” Tony closes his eyes and curls his knees to his chest, letting the silence wash over him. He exhales and releases the tension from his body, that blanket of darkness returning, so close to pulling him under...

Sharp knocks on the door wake Tony and he hisses in anger. What the fuck? Why can’t everyone just leave him alone?! He angrily stompts out of bed, ignoring the stinging down below, and slams open the door, glaring at the man standing there.

It’s Steve. His hair is smooth and short, and his eyes are narrowed and reflecting either disappointment or disgust. Tony can’t tell the difference anymore. He has a plain white shirt on and shaggy blue pants, seeming to be comfortable enough, but visibly becomes uncomfortable when he notices how sunken in Tony’s face is and how his hair is already a disheveled mess again. 

“What?” Tony snaps. “What could possibly be so important that you have to wake me up when I’m sleeping?”

Steve doesn’t appear to look guilty, but his small frown mirrors it. “Sorry,” he says, trying to peer over Tony’s shoulder into the room. He presses the door closer to his shoulder, blocking any view. Steve blinks. “Tony, look, I’m sorry, but you’ve been gone for nearly two weeks. I was worried. And when JARVIS told me you were back, I...”

 _Two weeks?_ Cold dread spills through his veins and covers him in a sheet of paleness. It couldn’t have been that long, right? He couldn’t have been with Jasper for _that_ long! And how was JARVIS able to bypass the code and tell the others about his return? He has to think for a moment... _Fuck. I forgot that it’s set on a time period of 12 hours, then the code is null... shit, how long have I been sleeping?_

Tony once again rubs his eyes, legs hardly able to hold his weight. “Sorry,” is all he can think to say.

Steve makes a disapproving sound that rumbles in the back of his throat. “You have to tell us where you’re going before you leave. I was worried sick, Tony! Everyone was worried sick!” 

“I’m sure.” Tony can’t push away the hurt that drags him under in torrents, pain and more pain smothering him until he can’t breathe. 

“What does that mean?”

“It means I know you don’t care. It’s none of your business where I go.”

“Of course it’s my business!” Steve raises his hands up and drops them back to his sides. “You’re an Avenger. What if there had been an emergency while you were gone? What if we couldn’t find you?” He shakes his head. “Partying and sleeping around isn’t acceptable anymore, Tony. You need to understand that you have a responsibility now. A responsibility to the team and to America!”

Tony freezes in his spot. _Partying_ and _sleeping around_? Is that what Steve actually thought he did all day? Those days were long over. They’d been over since he and Pepper had become close friends. But he knows that he can’t deny it, because it was his fault after all. He’d attended that meeting, accompanied them to the party, only taken a few sips of alcohol... He feels sick to his stomach. _This is all my fault. Jasper drugged me. He took me right out of that place as if I wanted to leave with him._

“You clearly don’t know anything about having fun, then,” Tony chokes out, the words like acid on his tongue. He doesn’t want to fuel the slut image, but it’s too late to go back now. Clint’s gonna have a field day with this one. 

Steve curls his lip and glares at Tony. “I honestly thought you’d changed for the better,” he growls. “Clearly I was wrong. You’re the same person you always have been. You aren’t capable of change. I’m going to have to tell Fury about this, you know.”

The idea of meeting with Nick fills him with an unexplainable emotion — it’s honestly more of a chore these days — but he lets that lopsided grin play on his lips and makes sure the grief fades out of his dull eyes. “Bite me.”

With that, he slams the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok this is so random and awkward but my friend went on a trip and gave me her juul so we been knew sis is gonna smoke the shit out of this bitch bc it honestly helps with my writing and i wanna get these chaps out for y’all
> 
> anyway
> 
> what’d you guys think of the chapter? it wasn’t a huge argument but don’t worry that’ll come soon enough lmao. i’m loving the comments they motivate me so much and i appreciate ALL OF YOU!!! ok now i gotta blast but stay tuned for more angst! and a pov change :o


	5. Don’t Worry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little shorter, I apologize!

Steve stomps into the communal area, eyes narrowed and fists curled. He rips open the refrigerator, pulls out a water, and downs it in a few gulps.

Natasha entertains him with a glance, but Clint seems much more curious. He stands from the couch, striding over and leaning against the counter. He sucks his teeth. “Damn. That bad?”

Steve doesn’t answer for a minute, staring at the tile like it has the answers to all of his problems. “Well, he’s back.”

“We knew that.” Clint rolls his eyes. “But what did he say?”

Steve shakes his head. “That’s just it. He didn’t say much of anything. I’m pretty sure he just got drunk for two weeks and slept around, but what else is new?”

“Did he tell you this?” Natasha asks from the couch, lowering the magazine she’s browsing over. 

“He didn’t have to,” Steve growls bitterly, “it was all in the eyes. And besides, he looked like he’d just rolled out of bed from.. you know, being drunk for days on end.”

“Well...” Clint smirks, flicking out an open palm. “Where’s my $50?”

Natasha looks up, disgusted. “Seriously? You bet on his state of mind?”

“What?” Clint exclaims, smiling wide, teeth poking out of his lips. “It was a fair bet. You can’t blame me. Stark isn’t exactly... y’know..” He shrugs.

“Whatever.” Natasha stands up and walks out of the room, taking the magazine with her.

“I want that back!” Clint calls after her, then tilts his head to Steve, raising his eyebrows.

Steve breathes out. “It just sucks, you know? I really was expecting better, and he just... disappointed me, as always.” His eyes darken. “I think he knows I hate his _hobbies_ , so he does them as obviously as he can just to piss me off.”

“Okay, not everything is about _you_ , Stevie,” Clint snickers. “He probably just didn’t give a shit about what any of us thought. He’ll get bit in the ass once he has to deal with Fury.”

Steve hums thoughtfully. “I suppose... but should I even tell him?”

Clint leans back and squints. “C’mon. Of course you should. If Stark was caught, or the press started sniffing around this shit, the Avengers would go down in flames. Or, alternatively, we’d have to kick him off the team for being unreliable. It’s his choice, Steve. You’re just following protocol.”

“I guess..” Steve appears unsure, but nods anyway. He’s doing what’s best for all of them, right?

“Hey. You still owe me that fifty though.” Clint winks.

“Okay, okay! Just give me a little bit!”

__________________

Tony awakes with a scream stuck in his throat. He jerks up, eyes wide, hands shaking and body convulsing. “No,” stirs at the tip of his tongue and he begins to cry, holding himself and trembling horribly. He can’t move — he feels like he’s back in that room. His hands are hung up, his legs are weak, and all he sees are green eyes.

He throws himself off of the bed and collapses to the floor, relishing the coldness sinking into his cheek. Tears flood out of his eyes and drip down his face, salt touching his lips. He places his hand to his heart and feels the steady, rhythmic pulse that lessens and lessens every few seconds. Tony exhales and lays there for a few more minutes before he finally has the motivation to sit up, and he hisses at the pain that racks through his entire form.

“Good morning, Sir,” JARVIS says, startling him. Tony blinks through the blurriness and cranes his head up to the ceiling.

“Hi,” he responds, rubbing his eyes. “How long was I out?”

“Approximately 15 hours and 27 minutes, Sir.”

“Shit.” Tony staggers to his feet, crying out from the agony. “Um, okay, what time is it?”

“4:29 PM.”

“Shit!” he repeats, bambi eyes widening. How had he slept so long? Then again, Tony had been.... you know... He shakes his head and clears his throat, deciding that he wants to take another shower. He starts it himself this time and stares at the water gush down into the drain, steam spilling out into the bathroom. Tony tilts his head to the side and slowly steps in with his clothes.

“Sir -”

“Mute.” Tony lets the shower wash over his clothes and dampen his skin, a morbid curiosity taking him over. He’d never thought about washing in his attire. Of course, it’s nothing fancy, just a Pearl Jam shirt and some boxers, but not having to look at his body really — it really comforts him. He can’t put his finger on the emotion.

Tony doesn’t bother using any shampoo or conditioner this time, instead intent on letting himself _feel_ clean. His back presses against the wall and he sinks to the ground, knees curling against his chest. He opens his mouth and the hot water splashes in his mouth, dripping back out in drips of saliva. Tony likes this feeling. He’s not as dirty, he reckons, nor does he feel worse than last night. There’s no grime to wash away this time. It’s all inside of him now.

He hums and stays in this position for another 45 minutes before he decides to step out. Tony turns the shower off and nearly slips on the way, catching himself before he falls. He blinks again and watches the light flicker above him, flashing him in darkness for one moment. Then he’s back, he’s back with Jasper, he’s naked again, he’s — he’s being tortured, he can _feel_ everything, he’s being filled up and used as someone else’s sex toy. Tony doesn’t even realize he’s sobbing until he touches his face and he’s back in his bathroom. He curls his hands around his wet clothes and that calms him down a little. When he looks in the mirror this time, there aren’t any bruises to see. Just... him.

“Unmute,” he murmurs, and rolls his eyes when JARVIS starts his usual ramble.

“Sir, are you alright? Would you like me to call Dr. Banner? Perhaps it would be a good idea if you told Pepper of your situation. I really think the team should know of your current situation.”

Tony doesn’t reply and pads into his room again, eyes flickering over his lab for a moment. He shrugs to himself and falls in his chair, ignoring the water dripping down his body or the clothes that cling to his skin.

He’s pretty sure he just sits here for about ten minutes, staring off into space, before JARVIS speaks again. “You have an incoming call from Mr. Rhodes. Would you like me to answer?”

“Sure.” The words tumble out of his mouth before he even realizes what he’s saying, but at this point, he doesn’t even really care. The screen lowers and his eyes flicker to James, who’s sitting in his house. “Rhodey,” he smiles.

“Tony.” Rhodey bites his lip and looks him over through the screen, eyes flitting back and forth. “You didn’t check in with me last week. How are you?”

“Oh, just great,” he lies, clenching his jaw and allowing a floppy smile to dimple his cheeks. “How about you? Back home for a while?”

“Yeah,” his friend nods, then squints. “Um. Why are your clothes wet?”

Tony just now remembers that he’d showered with them on. “Oh.” He taps his chin. “No reason.”

Rhodey definitely takes notice to his odd behavior, but doesn’t comment on it. That’s something Tony likes about his best friend. They know when to leave each other alone. “Okay, well, you didn’t answer my question.”

“What question?”

“About why you didn’t check in with me last week.”

“That wasn’t a question, Mama Bear, that was a statement.”

“Humph. Whatever.” Rhodey cracks a small smile but it looks darker, like he’s bothered by something. Tony wonders what. Hopefully he’s not being a bother. Then again, Rhodey did call _him_. “You sure you okay, Tony? I can come down for a little while if you want. Anything for you, y’know.”

“I’m fine. Really.” Tony waves his hand and feels something inside of him break. Maybe it’s his heart. “You don’t need to worry about me.” _You won’t be able to fix me_ , he wants to say, but it doesn’t come out because how could he ever say something like that? 

“Okay.” Rhodey sighs and shakes his head. “Do me a favor and take care of yourself. _Eat_. Sleep. Shower. Don’t fall into your usual self-destructive behavior, yeah?”

“Mmmmhm.” Tony has pretty much stopped listening, but is polite enough to nod along. “Will do.”

Rhodey bites his lip and appears to want to say more, but doesn’t. “I’ve gotta go, but I’ll call later, okay? You’ll pick up?”

“When don’t I?” Tony smirks and watches the screen click black, and his smile immediately deepens into a frown. His eyes burn and so does his throat and he’s pretty sure if he keeps crying he’s going to lose it. _Stop being such a pussy. You’ve been through worse. Nothing bad even happened! _But...__

Tony suddenly stands and staggers over to the cupboard beside his bed and drops to his knees, fishing around below for what he’s looking for. He breathes out when he finds it and drags the bottle out from under, staring at the label and the amber liquid inside. He feels a little guilty, but is pretty sure he won’t go too far. He won’t let himself. At least, he thinks he won’t.

He flops back into his chair and opens the bottle, hesitating as it hovers over his lips. Does he want to do this? Is this really the best way to make himself feel better?

_Of course it is. What else are you going to do?_

__Fair point._ _

__He presses the lid to his lips and relishes the feeling as the liquor trickles down his throat, and suddenly he’s floating, far far away from his mind. He’s finally okay. He finally feels free..._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the wait, you guys. This week’s been kind of hard with therapy and everything and I haven’t had much motivation. Don’t worry though, I’m going to start trying to get these chapters out sooner! All of your comments have meant so much to me, and gosh, all of you are so nice. I never expected this kind of support because I’ve never had it before. I really appreciate it.
> 
> Anyway, how did you guys like the chapter? I listened to my Pearl Jam playlist, which definitely helped me write better, and after seeing Rocketman yesterday (which was a wonderful movie, by the way, much better than Bohemian Rhapsody) I think I have a few more ideas of how to torture my poor Tony. Or, in truth, have him torture himself. I’m sure all of you lovely people will enjoy. This is a slow burn, ish, but either way I’m taking it... y’know. _Slow_.
> 
> Okay, I’ll let you all go now if you’ve read this far on my notes. I’d love to hear your thoughts, theories, and expectations for what’s to come next. I really want to make you all happy, and I’ll do that in any way I can! So thanks so much for everything, guys. Can’t wait to read what you all have to say!


	6. Proposal

Steve is definitely less than pleased on the idea of Tony going out to drink. Especially after he’d found him passed out on the floor, drenched in a pool of amber spilling from a shattered bottle the night before. Steve isn’t afraid to show it, either. He leans on the doorframe of the common room and crosses his arms, eyes flickering over the suit Tony’s dressed in.

As usual, Tony is ignoring him. He flicks open the refrigerator and pulls out a water, opening the lid and pausing to glance at Bruce, who’s observing him next to the counter. “Brucie Bear!” Tony smirks, “it’s been a few weeks. How’s my favorite science buddy?”

Bruce scratches his growing beard and narrows his eyes, gathering his thoughts before deciding to let his lips rest on a content, small smile. “Hi, Tony. I’m good, and you?”

Tony hums. “Brilliant, actually. Stocks are higher than ever this month, I’m wearing my new suit, and I’m going out to drink! What could be better?”

Bruce looks disappointed. “Tony, maybe it’s best if you stayed in tonight. We wanted to watch a movie, maybe — your pick, if you’d like.”

Tony pauses and frowns, appearing guilty. “Sorry, Brucie, but not tonight. Maybe some time later.”

In the light of the kitchen, Steve doesn’t miss the ring of dark spots curled around Tony’s neck, nor the way his shoulders are more hunched than usual. His eyes seem sunken in and his usually bright gaze is dimmer tonight. Clint doesn’t miss this, either, and strolls up to the counter chairs, a lazy smirk quirking his lips upward. “Be honest, Stark. Who’s the lucky gal?”

Tony’s eyes shoot up to his forehead and his hands begin to shake, something that never happens to the calm and collected billionaire. _Maybe those aren’t the right words, but.._ “As I said,” he shoots back, “I’m going out to drink. Nothing more.”

Clint snorts. “So where’d you get the hickeys, huh? You were gone last night, I know that much.” Tony eyes Steve, a glimmer somewhere there. _I promised I wouldn’t tell them. You didn’t believe me?_ He’s not strong enough to say the words, so instead relies on a squinted glance. 

“Well, dear friend, I don’t think it’s any of your business.” He laughs and takes a sip of the water, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and raising a brow. “Are you planning on coming along? I’d understand, considering your... lack of activity, if you know what I mean.”

Clint shoots up from the stool and Tony flinches back, hard, which shocks Steve and Bruce, but Clint is too pissed to notice. He points a finger at the billionaire, lips curled. “Take that back,” he spits. “Don’t talk about Laura that way!”

Tony is clearly shaken, holding himself in a tense way that’s very unnatural for him. Just when Steve starts to think that something is off, though, he’s already biting back— “I wasn’t talking about your wife, I was talking about other women. Women who you won’t get to be with, I’m afraid.”

A fire burns deep in Clint’s eyes that scares Steve. “Tony—” He tries to think of something to say, but what can he do to stop this? “Hey, come _on_ , we’re a team, we shouldn’t be talking to each other this way.”

“Are you talking about _me_?” Tony laughs, but slowly backs away when Clint rounds the table, nearing the billionaire in the kitchen. His chuckle becomes edged with nervousness. “Yo, Clint, you heard the man. Back off.”

Clint jabs his finger in Tony’s chest, hanging right above the glowing arc reactor hidden under layers of thick cotton. “It doesn’t matter _who_ you’re talking about,” he snarls, “but I’m not stupid. Don’t mock me. If you want to play this game, I can go right along, but trust me, you aren’t going to like it.”

Tony goes rigid when Clint touches him. His eyes fade into a clouded, far-away look, and he begins to tremble all over. Sweat beads drip from his hair and he shakily exhales, pressing himself against the corner. Bruce stands and yells something at Clint, but he’s too angry to care or listen, and now Steve is getting worried, because something is _wrong_ —

“You’re pathetic,” Clint growls, roughly gripping Tony’s shoulder. He lets out a muffled whine that Barton ignores. “All you do is drink and fuck. You don’t eat, you don’t sleep, and you don’t even respect your own teammates. You’ve never been part of the Avengers. You’re — you’re a fucking anomaly! None of us know you! You won’t let us get close to you! You’re selfish, Stark. You’ve always been selfish. I should’ve known that your money would always get in the way of your judgement. But who am I to say anything? After all, I’m not a _slut_ —”

Tony’s hand snaps forward and catches Clint on the cheek, blowing him back in a dazed whirr. He holds Barton’s arm and rips it away from his body, shaking so badly he drops the water. “Don’t you _fucking_ touch me,” Tony gasps out, hyperventilating. “Touch me again and I’ll rip your fucking hand off, Barton.” His sleeves have rolled up to reveal dark, blossomed bruises around his wrists, painted red and black. Clint is too shocked to say anything and stumbles back, cupping his jaw in his hand and staring at Tony, wide-eyed.

“Tony—” Steve bites his tongue, worriedly glancing over at Bruce. The scientist rushes forward and steps past Clint. 

“Hey, Tony,” Bruce whispers, voice soft and gentle, “will you let me look at your wrists? What happened?” All four of them look down at the blood beginning to run down his fingertips, crimson trickling out of open wounds. Tony stares for a moment and hastily rips a paper towers from the rack, wiping his wrists with it and throwing it in the trash, blood smearing along his arms.

“Leave me the fuck alone,” he snarls, shoving past both of them and marching away from the kitchen. He stops to look at Steve, who’s too stunned to speak. “Do you have something to say before I leave? Want to call me a slut too?”

“What? Tony, no—” But he’s already walking away by the time the words tumble out of Steve’s mouth, and it feels like his legs have been glued in place. The door clicks open and slams shut, leaving the room in a buzzing silence.

No one knows what to do next.

___________

“Fucking dumbasses,” Tony hisses to himself as he walks from the taxi, eyes narrowed and fingers curled. He can feel the pulsing underneath his skin, the blood dripping down his arm and to his elbow, but he finds he doesn’t really care.

Tony likes this bar because he’s a regular, and he’s buddies with the owner, and thus they keep any paparazzi out and as far away as possible. They also don’t have security cameras, so he doesn’t have to worry about anyone hacking the place and watching him pass out from drinking too much. 

His black shoes click on the ground, moonlight spilling into the world from above. He opens the door and pads to the bar, slipping in one of the chairs and resting his chin on his palm. The place is quiet for a Thursday night, only a few people swaying along to the slow music playing from the speakers. Tony supposes that’s good — then he doesn’t have to worry about too many people recognizing him, even though he’s pretty sure nearly every single person in the world knows who he is, unfortunately.

“Hey, Brian,” he breathes out, smiling softly at the bartender that strolls over. 

Brian smiles wide and throws his arms out in a welcoming gesture. “Tony!” he laughs. “It’s been a while. How’ve you been? Want the usual?”

“I’ve been... good,” he nods, “and yes, please. You can read my mind, right?”

The bartender smirks and pours the drink, sliding it over to Tony. “Feel free to stay as long as you like,” he offers. “We’re open all night. A crowd usually comes in later and fills the place up, but Frank’ll make sure none of the press slips in.”

“Send Frank my regards,” Tony replies, lifting the glass to Brian before letting the liquor slide down his throat. It burns and aches and pops in his chest, but he relishes the numbness that creeps through his body afterwards. “Another, please.”

The night becomes blurred with lights and colors, and eventually Tony’s head is swimming with a pulsing headache that he can’t get rid of. Brian was right about the crowd, because thirty or so new people have made their way into the bar, some dancing, others drinking, a few passed out near the edge of the room. Tony sways on the chair and catches himself, blinking up at a woman sitting next to him.

Tony huffs and turns away, sipping at his drink, ignoring her to the best of his abilities. She’s wearing a beautiful, silky red dress that reaches down to her thighs, and red lipstick is spread along her lips in a seductive way, probably. He’s not in the mood, not at all. Because sex — sex means he’ll have to show people his bruised body, and he’s been _used_ , and he’s already breaking inside from what Jasper had done to him, and he hates this woman for trying anything with him!

“What?” he finally snaps, resting his dark and wavering gaze on the woman.

She’s surprised to gain his attention but quickly perks up and leans forward, resting an elbow on the table and showing her cleavage. “Hi,” she laughs, eyes bright. “Who might you be?”

 _Off to a great start already.._ He nearly rolls his eyes but decides to humor her. “Is this what your book told you to do? Your flirting is disastrous.”

The woman is taken aback and bristles, before relaxing and letting that soft smile back on her red lips. “Okay, you got me. I know who you are. I just— I didn’t expect to see someone so famous here.”

Tony sighs. “I’m not interested,” he says, turning his gaze away, resuming his drinking.

That seems to upset the woman. She’s pretty, yeah, but — but he just _can’t_. Tony’s not sure he ever will be able to again. “Oh, don’t be like that,” she purrs, pressing herself up to his side, breath stirring in his ear. “I know you want me~”

“Fuck _off_ ,” he snarls, flinching away and holding himself back from throwing her off of him. The woman blinks, stunned, before growling and stalking away, on to find her next victim. “Shit,” he breathes, rubbing his temple and setting his head on the table. He hurts all over and just wants to be _drunk_. He doesn’t want to be bothered, or seduced, or manipulated. Is that too much to ask, for once in his goddamn life?

 _Yes_ , he reminds himself, _it is. You’re Tony Stark, one of the most famous people alive. You’re globally known by almost every single person. Of course people are going to notice you and try to take you to bed. It comes with the fame._

“Well, that didn’t seem to go over well.”

Ice spills through Tony’s body and runs down his back, freezing him into place. He doesn’t lift his head, just pretends like he doesn’t hear, like he doesn’t hear _him_ , because this can’t be true, this can’t be happening, this can’t be him!

 _I’m crazy,_ Tony decides, _I’m hearing voices in my head that sound like Jasper. I have a mental illness, nothing more. He’s not here. He’s not sitting beside me. He’s not anywhere near me. He can’t touch me anymore. I’m free from that piece of shit._

“Ignoring me?”

A hand physically threads through Tony’s hair and roughly pulls his head up. A gasp wrenches from his throat when he stares into emerald eyes, a shadow buried underneath. “No,” Tony splutters. “No, no, no.”

“Yes, yes, _yes_ ,” Jasper laughs, smirking devilishly. “Did you think I’d leave you alone so soon, Tony dear?” His hand runs down Tony’s leg and settles at the base of his cock. Jasper pulls himself closer to the billionaire. “Before you scream, you might want to hear what I have to say.”

“I’m going to scream, and you’re going to go to jail for—” He can’t say the words. They die in the back of his throat and float around his mind, flashes dazing him in everlasting pain.

“Exactly,” Jasper laughs. “For nothing! I didn’t do anything you didn’t deserve, and you know it. So, tell me, _Tony_ , how would you like these images leaked?”

His bambi eyes flicker down to a phone that’s placed in his quivering hand. He nearly cries when he sees himself gagged and bound, naked, crusted in cum and dirt, hair disheveled and eyes closed. “You — you took _pictures_?” he whispers, horror spinning him into terror. No. No. This couldn’t be happening. This is a dream, it’s all a dream, he needs to wake _up_ —

“Of course.” Jasper says the words like it’s _obvious_. “Keep looking, Tony. I think you might like what you see.”

There are dozens of pictures. Some are of Tony sucking Jasper’s cock, some taken from Jasper’s point of view while inside Tony, others so dark he can’t even make out what horrible thing is going on in them. He tries not to cry and holds back his sobs, wanting to throw the phone back in Jasper’s face. “What do you want? Money? Fame? You can have it. No problem. But please..” Tears leak out of his eyes and drip down his cheeks. “Don’t... please, don’t.. you _can’t_ —”

“I can, if I want to,” Jasper nods, then smirks, fangs flashing in the darkened bar. The music fades from soft to booming. It hurts Tony’s ears. “But that’s not what I want, Tony. I... God, this is embarrassing, but I want _you_.” Jasper squeezes his dick in his pants and Tony yelps, but it’s buried under the noise of the music and dancing and singing.

“Touch me again and I fucking _swear_ I’ll—”

“You’ll what? Report me? Punch me? Kill me?” Jasper clicks his tongue and wraps an arm around Tony’s shoulders, pulling him closer. “You do that, Tony, and I’ll make sure your friends don’t wake up tomorrow.”

He freezes in place, shocked, and looks at Jasper. “What—”

“That woman that just came up to you is one of mine.” Jasper smirks. “She’s a trained assassin. I have many more, Tony. They’re much better than Romanoff, quieter than Barton, and stronger than Banner and Rogers combined. If you reject my offer, or tell them _anything_ , I’ll make sure they’re killed right away. That includes your little robots. They can’t know that I’m... well..” He chuckles darkly. “Your former captor.”

“Why are you doing this?” Tony croaks. He wishes he can just crumple into a million pieces and die right here, right now. This was a mistake. He’s so stupid. He should’ve stayed in his lab and just slept and drank to himself. But no, he wanted to come here, he wanted to be outside, he wanted to feel surrounded by people...

“I’ll explain it all eventually! Don’t worry, Tony, you won’t be left in the dark for much longer. But, of course, you understand what this means, right?”

“No,” he snaps, then screws his eyes shut. What does Jasper want? To kidnap him again? Fuck him? Kill him? Maybe it would be for the better. As long as his teammates — his _friends_ — don’t get hurt, then it’ll all be worth it.

Jasper shakes his head. “I thought you’d be smarter than that, Tony, dear. Nevertheless, I’m willing to explain further.” A pause. “What’s going to happen is this — tomorrow you’ll let me into your home, you’ll introduce me to your teammates as your boyfriend, and then the press will get a sniff. It’ll be official.” He laughs. “It’ll be wonderful, Tony. We’ll be together, then I can fuck you as much as I want! And, of course, I won’t leak your photos, and I won’t have my people kill your friends. It’s simple, isn’t it?”

Tony shakes his head desperately. “No. No, I don’t trust you coming to the tower. You’ll just kill them. You’re tricking me. This is all a big _trick_ , it’s blackmail, you’re lucky I’m not recording this—”

“And risk the media releasing those pictures?” Jasper snorts. “Come on, _think_ , Tony. You’re smarter than this. Accept my proposal, and nothing bad will happen to your friends. If you don’t, well..” He frowns and glances over at the woman in the red dress, who’s staring at both of them. “We’re going to have some problems, I’m afraid.”

It’s an impossible decision. The pain inside of Tony is overwhelming and buries him deep under the earth. It feels like dirt is filling his mouth and cluttering his insides, dampening his mind, leaving him to come up with an answer to something no one should ever have to be asked. “Let me think about it,” he finally sobs, wiping his cheeks with his hands, eyes puffy and red. What does he say? What _can_ he say? He doesn’t want his friends to die, he can’t let those photos be released, he can’t tell JARVIS— he’s stuck.

“Think about it?” That’s definitely not the answer Jasper is looking for. He leans forward and narrows his green eyes. “Now, Tony, think carefully. If I even get the idea that you’re going to turn me down, your friends will die. I may keep you alive for the fun of it..”

Horror. It’s crystal clear and registers in Tony’s mind, but he’s already so traumatized this hardly adds to the list. “Jasper...” His voice is dull and weak and comes out warbled and all wrong. “I.. I can’t..”

“You _will_ ,” Jasper snarls, voice low. “You already know what will happen. Is that something you’re willing to risk on your own selfishness, Tony? Hm?”

He begins to cry. Tony, for once in his life, doesn’t know what to say. He’s going to have to do this, isn’t he? He’s going to have to live with this. There’s nothing he can do now, nor is there anything he can do anytime soon. He’s not selfish, despite what Clint had said. He’s _not_. Fuck, he... he..

“Okay,” Tony rasps, letting his head fall in defeat. “Okay. You’ll get what you want, Jasper. I’ll... I’ll do whatever you want.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so, so, SO sorry for the wait! I haven’t been busy, but my therapy has completely drained me of any sort of writing motivation. I think I rewrote this chapter at least 3 times. The first drafts just didn’t live up to my expectations and I couldn’t give all of you wonderful people something half-assed. I wanted to go full in, so... I decided to do this! Something longer and filled with much more than I even expected to do for this story. This was completely winged, so I’m gonna roll with it! What do you think? Any ideas? Theories? Comments? I’d love to hear what all of you think. I’ll try to respond to every comment!
> 
> Thanks again for all of your support. I’ll try to get the next chapter out sooner. I’ve been listening to the soundtrack of Rocketman for inspiration (mostly Rocket Man, Tiny Dancer, and Your Song), but I also have another one I made! If you want to check out my playlists, feel free to follow my Spotify @ morganusmorgan!
> 
> Anyway, I think that’s all of my notes for now. Once more, all of you are amazing and you all make me so happy. Thanks for everything, all of the support. It truly means the world, especially right now. I don’t want to get sappy, but most of my friends have drifted away from me, and my family isn’t all perfect. So what all of you say and how nice you are means so much more than you know. If you want to just chat, I’d love to! Maybe say some things about yourself, feel free, and I’ll respond! Of course, if you want to, haha.
> 
> Okay, seriously, I’m ending these notes. Have a great day/night everyone, and stay tuned!


	7. Fleeting Memories

Tony palms open the door, face drawn in a scowl, brows tight above his eyes and hair dripping with sweat, brown hair dangling over his face. He trudges to the elevator, shakily pressing the button to the home floor and dragging himself inside, gasping as he steadies himself on the railing.

The doors close and he nearly collapses, heart beating irregularly in his chest. Tony wipes the tear trails off of his cheeks, muttering furiously to himself. “Man up, Tony, man up! Stark men are made of iron! You’re Iron Man! You can handle this...” 

When he arrives on the home floor, Tony staggers out, feet tangling underneath him. He laughs and falls to the ground, whining when he hits his side, rubbing his ribs with thick fingers. “Fucking hell...” Tony curls his knees to his chest, letting the coolness of the tile pool through his body, dampening him in an icy numbness that didn’t exist before. He draws his head forward in his hands, ripping away at his scalp, kicking and screaming in agony. He can’t do this. He can’t. He can’t live anymore, not if it’s with Jasper. He’d rather fucking die!

“Tony?” A worried voice rouses him from his dream-like state, bloodshot gaze wobbling toward Bruce. The scientist is leaning over him, eyes wide and fingers curled. “Hey, what’s wrong?” A palm waves in front of Tony’s face and he giggles. Strong, calloused hands raise him up, and Tony leans against the kitchen counter, a puff of air blowing out of his lips.

“Brucie Bear,” Tony smirks, holding his friend by the shoulder. Everything inside _hurts_ , but he’s determined to distract himself with anything, absolutely _anything_. “How ya doin, old pal? Science going alright? Need a little help from your genius friend?” He smiles.

“Tony, are you drunk?”

His half-lidded gaze snaps open and he curls his lip, sneering up at Bruce. “Would it matter if I am?” he snaps, exhaustion threatening to pull him under. Why does everyone fucking care if he’s a little tipsy? He’s a hardly a part of this goddamn team anyway!

“...No, I suppose not.” The mumble hardly reaches Tony’s ears but he frowns by the time it registers, wondering why Bruce sounds so sad. 

“I’m fine,” Tony adds, shrugging dismissively. Jasper told him no one can know, so leaving any hints is a horrible way to start. It’s better this way. _Safer_ this way. “Don’t worry about me, Brucie. I’ma be just fine, always am....” He trails off, content on letting himself sleep here. He probably looks like shit, but does it really matter? That sure is how he feels inside.

There’s clear hesitation strung in the air before Bruce speaks again. “Do you mind if I take a look at your wrists? They’re bleeding again.” 

Tony drops his head down, staring at the crimson beginning to form in beads around the plumes of dark bruises littering his skin. He tilts his head in morbid wonder, a hum forming in the back of his throat. “Yeah, I suppose.” He’s too fucking drunk to care. Whatever. The whole team treats him like shit anyway, hm?

Bruce shuffles away for a moment, busy rummaging for the first aid kit. Tony looks at his hands and splays them at his sides, twitching his fingers to make sure he’s still real and living. He exhales and holds his hair in his hands, teeth gritting and eyes screwing shut. He doesn’t know what to do anymore. He’s fucked. Jasper’s going to mess him up so badly, and the team won’t know, _JARVIS_ won’t know, and... he feels more alone now than ever before.

“Help me,” Tony whispers. It’s hardly audible and buffets in his throat, a splutter following. The back of his eyes burn and he claws at his face, kicking his feet. “No.” He shakes his head. “M’sorry, Brucie...”

A shadow crosses over his vision and Tony throws his arms up, bracing for pain across his face. And yet... there’s nothing. Strong, gentle hands lower his arms and Tony opens his eyes to Brucie, who’s staring at him like he’s grown a second head. “Tony, what’s going on? This isn’t.. this isn’t like you.”

“‘Nuffin,” he grumbles, covering his eyes with his hands. “I’m fine, Brucie... fine...”

It’s silent for a moment until he feels a warmth pressing next to his side, and something cold washes over his wrists. Tony slumps his shoulders and puffs out a mix between a sob and a sigh. Bruce seems to take notice but doesn’t comment this time. He wipes a wet towel over the bruises and softly sways it over the discoloration, biting his lip in thought.

Tony glances up at his friend. “You’re mad at me.”

Bruce pauses, hands hovering for a moment before returning to his work. “I’m not angry, Tony. I just wish you would talk to me sometimes.”

Tony’s gaze flickers. Talk to Bruce? _Why?_ sits on the tip of his tongue but he doesn’t dare let it pass through his teeth, otherwise he’d have to take the strained look his friend would give him. Tony’s tired of making other people feel sad. So, so tired. Instead, he screws his eyes shut and opts for a— “I don’t have anything to talk about.”

And yet, that isn’t true. Bruce doesn’t say anything, just keeps working on Tony’s wrists, letting the silence thin between them. He can’t stand it anymore, the constant hum of the kitchen, he can’t— he—

“I have a boyfriend,” Tony blurts.

Bruce freezes, hands stiffening. Tony doesn’t dare look up at his friend’s face, so instead draws his hands and legs closer to his body, letting the warmth spread through his veins. “Boyfriend?” Bruce finally echoes. 

Tony’s eyes flicker up and he sees not disgust or embarrassment, but genuine curiosity. That eases his heart just a little bit. “Yeah,” he chokes out, chest constricting. “I’m introducing him to the team tomorrow.” Jasper’s green eyes flash in his mind and Tony can’t help but tear up. He’s shaking so badly at the memories, fucking hell, can’t those memories just _stop_?

“I’m... glad you told me, Tony.” Bruce nods and leans back, sliding the tools back into the kit. “I’m assuming you’ll fill us in on how you met tomorrow?”

Tony hums in response, mulling over his ideas. Maybe they met at the bar, just minus the kidnapping, enslavement, and torture. He bites his lip and staggers upward, legs twisting underneath him. Tony hangs on to Bruce’s arm and doesn’t even realize his friend is leading him toward the elevator. The next few minutes are a haze, but Bruce must’ve put Tony to bed and turned all the lights off. It’s nice, being cared for. It is. 

Not like it’ll last for much longer, though.

 

______________

 

Tony wraps the tie around his collar and stares at the mirror, narrowing his bambi eyes at his disheveled appearance. He’d attempted to tame his wild hair, but there were still strands dangling annoyingly over his face. Fuck it. Tony didn’t care anymore.

He turns and pauses when his phone rings. Tony twists his head to stare at the screen and goes stiff. _Incoming call from Jasper_. When had he put his information in Tony’s phone?! “JARVIS, Sleep.” His _Sleep_ feature automatically disabled JARVIS’s general sensors and cameras until told to awaken. His... his bot didn’t need to hear this.

Tony slowly lifts the phone to his ear, eyes wide with dread. “Hello?” he manages, tugging at the hem of his jacket.

“Tony.” The voice is sickeningly sweet, a soft and quiet hum. “How are you, dear?”

He forces himself not to throw up. Memories flash behind his eyes and he nearly drops the phone trying to claw at his face. “Fine,” he says, stumbling over his words. “I— when are you coming?”

“Now, my love,” Jasper laughs. “Don’t get impatient with me.”

Tony bites his tongue. He knows the rest of the Avengers are downstairs, eating breakfast, not even realizing this is going to happen. He silently hopes Bruce tells them he has a... a boyfriend. Then, Tony won’t have to see their sneers, sharp eyes, or confused expressions. He hates the way it makes him feel inside.

When Tony doesn’t respond, Jasper growls. “Tony? Are you here?”

“Y— Yes. Yes, I’m here,” he splutters out, voice rough. He doesn’t know what to say, and whenever he hears Jasper, it’s like his mind goes blank and is overrun with horrible, horrible memories.

“Good boy,” Jasper drawls slowly, voice becoming light. Tony wonders how this man can become so angry and then so calm in a matter of seconds. “I’m heading to the tower now. Meet me outside.”

Tony closes his eyes in defeat. _Meet me outside. That can’t mean anything good._ He doesn’t want to meet Jasper outside. He would love it if a car would suddenly swerve into Jasper’s lane and kill him in a matter of seconds. That would be nice. Then he wouldn’t have to deal with this shit anymore.

Unfortunately, the world does not often work in Tony Stark’s favor, and right now is one of those times.

“Okay,” he finally rasps, defeated. There’s nothing else he can say. Jasper owns him. 

“Okay,” Jasper murmurs, then his voice grows higher, “I _love_ you, Tony.”

No response. 

“Tony.” Jasper’s voice becomes cold and steely, sending shivers up his spine. “I _said_ I love you—”

“I have to go. Bye.” Tony clicks the phone off and drops it from his hand, chest constricting. White, hot fear is the only thing he can register in his mind. _I hung up on Jasper. Shit. Why did I do that? Why couldn’t I say it back? It’s not even a big deal— it’s just some fucking words. Get it together, Stark! You’re fine!_

The words fall on deaf ears and Tony twists around, belly tightening as he exits his room. He narrowly avoids the communal area and instead lets the elevator take him down to the first level. Tony aimlessly runs a hand through his feathery, brown hair, and exits the tower.

Tony sits and waits on the front steps. He tilts his head up toward the sky and watches the flock of birds pass overhead. Soft blues and whites paint the sky in streaks, the sun a bright ball of fire in the middle of the sky. At least it isn’t too hot. The breeze saves Tony from that.

After another fifteen minutes of waiting, a black limo pulls up to the curb and stops. Tony glances toward it and jumps to his feet without think, eyes wide. He watches the back door open and— shit. Jasper is here, and he doesn’t look happy. His green gaze falls on Tony and it turns to cracked stone. Jasper flicks a $100 toward the driver and exits, brown shoes clicking on the pavement.

“Tony, dear,” Jasper hisses, striding up to him. Tony backs away and trips over one of the stairs, ignoring the looks from people walking down the street.

“Not here, please,” he whispers, trying to control his breathing. Tony jerks his head toward the lobby. “Inside. Please. No one... no one is in there. No one will see us.”

Jasper tilts his head critically at Tony, brows pushed together in a scowl. “Fine. If you think it’s so damn important to be out of the public eye, then be my guest.” He roughly grips Tony’s shoulder and pulls him off the ground, tugging him along inside the tower, where the tinted windows completely remove any outside view.

As soon as they’re inside, Jasper has his hand around Tony’s throat. He stops and shakes, spine tingling when those fingers clasp around his skin. 

“You hung up on me,” Jasper snarls, face drawn. “You fucking hung up on me. Are you stupid? Did our fling make you lose brain cells up in that dirty little head of yours?” He harshly taps Tony’s forehead. “No one fucking hangs up on me! Especially not _you_ , Tony.”

He’s at a loss for words. What does he say? He’s sorry? _I’m not._ Tony wants to be truthful, but remembers this is _Jasper_ he’s talking to. It’s best to listen and not argue. “I guess you’re right,” he mumbles, bending his head.

Jasper clasps his hand tighter around Tony’s throat and lifts his head to meet his green gaze. Tony freezes. “I _guess_? Oh, dear Tony... you’re going to wish you hadn’t done that later.” Jasper moves forward and playfully bites his ear, pushing his crotch on to Tony’s. There’s no arousal. Just dread.

When there’s no reaction, Jasper just wistfully sighs and rugs on Tony’s jacket. “Come on, let’s go meet your team.” He clicks the elevator open and steps inside. Tony obediently follows, but he’s not completely there. Memories and feelings flash before his paled eyes, memories of Jasper’s touch and the pain he’d felt much too often.

Jasper says something and Tony hardly responds. Before his— his _parter_ — can grow angrier than he already is, the elevator has reached the communal floor.

The soft, familiar ding blinks Tony back into consciousness. He looks around, slightly confused, before realizing where he is. Then, the doors slide open.

Jasper leads Tony out and his gaze becomes light as he observes the team sprawled out in different places among the room. Steve is eating cereal on the counter, Clint is across from him and talking about something Tony can’t quite catch, Natasha is flinging her daggers back and forth in her hands, and Bruce is sitting on the couch, watching TV.

Bruce is first to notice. Steve seems to pick up on the glance and turns his head to the side, eyes widening at Tony and Jasper. “Tony?” he asks, drawing the entire room toward the couple.

Tony cringes. He wishes they could do this more low-key and not in a group setting. _But they’ll die if I don’t... I can’t let that happen to them._

“Who is this?” Clint asks, narrowing his eyes. He glares at Tony, whose mask has flickered back on, and Tony glares back.

Natasha rounds the corner, Bruce trailing behind her. Her lips thin into a line, silently calculating Jasper.

“Hi!” Jasper says enthusiastically. He reaches out an arm with bright, wide green eyes. “I’m Jasper. Tony’s— well.” He somehow makes himself blush and looks at Tony with feigned affection. “ _Boyfriend_.”

The tension and shock is almost too much for Tony to handle. He avoids his team’s looks, all except for Bruce’s. Speaking of... his friend moves forward when no one else does and shakes Jasper’s hand, nodding. “Bruce Banner. It’s nice to meet you, Jasper.”

“Y— yes, uh, yes, very nice to meet you,” Steve splutters out, sweeping a confused glance across the team. He tentatively reached forward and shakes Jasper’s hand. “It’s, it’s nice to have you here, Jason.”

“Jasper.”

“Jasper.” Steve tries to smile, but it’s awkward and sideways. Tony hates it. He wants to crawl into a pit and die. If only the ground would swallow him whole. 

“You’re— a lucky dude,” Clint manages, patting Jasper’s back and missing the annoyed glint in his green eyes. “Welcome to the tower. Want me to get you anything?”

Natasha doesn’t move forward to greet him.

Jasper shows his teeth in a wide, unnatural grin. Maybe it only looks unnatural to Tony, because everyone else seems to buy it. That’s good. That means— that means his team won’t be hurt because of him. Because of his own mistakes. That’s all he really wants. 

“No,” Jasper finally replies after a spread of silence, shaking his head. “I’m actually quite tired. I traveled all the way from D.C., so I’d like to get some rest. Tony, would you care to join me?” Jasper presses close to him and slides his fingers into Tony’s hand.

He nearly throws up.

“S- sure.” Tony nods slowly, hardly functioning correctly. It’s like he’s on auto-pilot. “I’ll come.”

“Thank you for your hospitality,” Jasper sweetly says to the Avengers. “I do hope you won’t mind my company. I can’t wait to meet all of you.”

Tony isn’t sure what happens after that, or if anyone even responds to Jasper. He sort of remembers being pulled into the elevator, but it’s all blank. He can hardly think.

As soon as they enter Tony’s floor, Jasper has his hands on his hips and is twirling him around to catch him on the lips. Tony gags in response, stomach flipping, and stands still. Jasper leans into the touch and snaps at his boyfriend’s lips, smirking. “That’s a good boy,” he drawls.

Suddenly, Jasper shoves Tony to the ground. He gasps when the world tilts, hard floor cooling his body down just a bit. A body presses on top of his and he knows it’s Jasper, he knows the exact _weight_ and _feeling_ , and it makes bile rise in his throat. “Stop, please,” he whispers.

Jasper doesn’t listen. He pins Tony to the ground, holding his arms above his head so he can’t move well. Jasper straddles his boyfriend and smirks dangerously. “I’m so _fucking_ horny,” he murmurs, leaning down. “I have all of our videos saved... do you know that?”

Ice. It registers only slightly in Tony’s mind, and he manages to understand that— holy shit, Jasper didn’t just take pictures, he _taped_ everything. _Sick fuck!_

“After you escaped, I pulled a TV into the room, sat on the bed, and watched us together. I couldn’t stop jerking off. It was like... it was like there was a hole in my heart, because I missed you _so. Damn. Much._ And now I’m here, and I can finally fuck you as much as I want, and now that we’re _together_ you can’t go screaming about rape.” A wicked, daring smile. Tony doesn’t respond.

Jasper tugs at the hem of Tony’s pants and begins to pull them down. He releases Tony’s arms but god, he’s... he’s so fucking _tired_. He doesn’t want to fight back. He can’t fight back. Tony has to let this happen to keep his friends safe. It’s horrible, but... but it has to be this. There’s no other way.

Jasper finishes pulling off Tony’s shirt and pants and rips off his underwear. Somehow, in some goddamn way, his cock grows slightly erect and pulses underneath his skin. Jasper grins and take some his own clothes off, leaning back down and lying flat along Tony’s chest.

He doesn’t even wait to say anything, and slides his cock into Tony. He nearly screams from the pain, but locks his lip and closes his eyes. “Don’t close your eyes, Tony,” Jasper whispers. “Don’t. Look at me.”

Tony obliges. He cringes at the pain down there, at the re-tearing and the horrible, warm liquid running down his body. _Blood. It’s fucking blood, isn’t it?_ Jasper begins to thrust faster, mercilessly, angrily, and it’s all done for punishment and Jasper’s pleasure.

Tony doesn’t realize they’re finished. He’s limply dragged on to the bed and is pretty sure Jasper gives him a blowjob, but it’s all fleeting memories behind his eyes.

This is his life now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit. So, uh, yeah... it’s been a while since I updated, and for that, I’m sincerely sorry. This summer has been really hard for me, not only because of therapy, but also because I was away from home for two straight months. Now that I’m back, I’m not exactly sure how to feel and how to act. I finally decided to finish this chapter and get it out, because god, I feel terrible about not updating. I swore I wouldn’t do this and then did it anyway.
> 
> I hope you all can forgive me for this long wait. I’ll try to update soon, but I unfortunately can’t make any promises. I’m still struggling and writing this is even harder sometimes, just because of the sheer sadness and tragedy I have to put into it. Thank you so much for reading, lovely people, and feel free to leave your comments below. They mean so much to me.
> 
> Thanks, guys.


	8. Black and Blue

Tony stands on the balcony and looks out upon the city. A cigarette is perched between his lips, sitting there, fizzling out under the cover of the sheet of rain. He doesn’t bother to sit, and instead inhales a sharp drag of the cigarette, pulling it off of his lips.

His heart constricts as he sits there, staring out into the lights below. Something so heavy and horrible worms in his heart, fluttering like stones in his chest. Tony smothers his sob with another drag and his legs buckle, body flopping to the ground. He uselessly crawls forward and lets his legs dangle through the bars, the wind filling under his feet. God, if only he could jump..

The cool spray of the rain dribbles along his face, and for a moment, Tony closes his eyes. He’s not seeing images of blood and pain and binds— in fact, he’s seeing _nothing_. The water calms him down, as does the steady rhythm of the way it falls from the storm clouds above. 

A flicker of lightning catches his attention, and Tony tilts his chin up, furrowing his brows slightly. He sits there in a trance for either five minutes or five hours, Tony honestly can’t tell anymore. The second the sun begins to spill light from the horizon, though, he knows it’s time to move.

The sky is still dark and clouded, but beads of lighter sky shine through, snapping him out of his thoughts. Tony groans softly, picking himself up and nearly crumpling when the blood rushes to his legs. “Fuck,” he mutters, crawling through the sliding door and nearly stumbling to the ground. He quietly shuts it behind him, trying not to wake Jasper from the other room. Tony knows that won’t end well if he does.

Especially considering it’s 6:15.

He spends some time wavering in the main room, but eventually staggers to the bathroom. Tony makes sure to avoid the mirror and clumsily turns on the faucet, feeling the warm water spill over his hands. He pauses, considering, then climbs inside fully clothed.

Maybe it would be better if he starts bathing like this. And yes, he is bathing. Tony sets his back down along the bottom of the tub and closes his eyes, feeling the water slowly rise above his chest, his legs, and eventually to his cheeks. The warm blanket of comfort wraps around him and secures him from all the noise of the world.

“ _Babe_?” The slick word falls on Tony’s submerged ears as soon as it’s uttered. His eyes snap open and he jerks up from the now cold water, teeth chattering together. Jasper is standing next to the tub, eyes narrowed and face pointed. “What the hell are you doing?”

Tony squints for a moment, trying to piece together what’s happening. He’d been outside, then decided to take a bath— oh. It’s the morning, now. _I must’ve fallen asleep_ , he thinks. “Dunno,” he eventually mumbles, wiping his eyes with wet hands.

Jasper scoffs and roughly pulls him out of the bath. Tony doesn’t fight, only puffing out droplets of water as he’s ripped away from his only comfort. “You’re soaked,” he says, nose scrunching. “And you fucking stink.”

Tony watches his _boyfriend_ wheel around out of the bathroom, leaving him to stand in front of the mirror. He can’t help himself. Tony looks at his reflection and cringes, biting his lip. His arms are scattered in paled scratches and deep purple bruises blossom around his collarbone. “Fuck,” he whispers darkly, furiously wiping away his tears. 

Tony sighs and stumbles out of the bathroom, fumbling through the closet and trying to find something to wear. God, he’s tired. Tony doesn’t want to do anything. Maybe he should just wear some casual attire... 

“Hurry up,” Jasper snaps from somewhere else on the large floor, “I want to show you something.”

Tony freezes as dread creeps up his spine, but he forces himself to continue searching through his closet. However, before Tony can choose anything dry to wear, a rough hand grips his arm and forces him to wheel around. He blinks back at Jasper, who’s crookedly smiling at him. “Come on,” he says. “You’re going to love this surprise.”

Something deep within Tony stirs but he forces himself to follow Jasper anyway. He ends up in the living room, where the flatscreen TV flashes back. Tony freezes. _Breaking News: Tony Stark now officially dating Jasper Morrow_. A picture of he and his _boyfriend_ showers over the screen.

“Don’t you like it?” Jasper grins with far too many teeth and wraps an arm around Tony’s shoulder, pulling him into his embrace. It’s only been a week into their fucked up relationship and the media has already caught wind. _It’s over. Everything is over for me. I’ll never get rid of him._ It feels as if the world has opened up below his feet and this living nightmare is swallowing him whole. _I should’ve said no, long before this. I shouldn’t have gone to that bar. I should’ve left the moment I heard Jasper. I should never have let this fuckhead do this to me!_

A horrible, low whine draws Tony out of his head. And then he realizes it’s from his own fucking mouth, and everything inside his chest crumples. Tony suddenly can’t hold his weight and he sinks to the ground, breath hitching roughly in his throat. He can’t breathe. Tears dribble down his cheeks and he begins to sob, sprawled across the floor like a fucking child throwing a temper tantrum. Rough hands steer him out of his tunnel vision and he screams, reeling back. “Fuck off! Get the fuck away from me!” He’s angry. So, so angry. 

_You know what? I’m done. I’m fucking DONE!_ Tony jumps to his feet and only sees the outline of Jasper, and his silence is absolutely deafening. _I don’t care who sees anymore. I- I can’t keep doing this. It’s not healthy or normal in any way. This has to end, now._

“I fucking hate you,” Tony snarls. He furiously wipes away the tears and his vision of Jasper becomes clearer. His face is neutral, but the crease in his brow indicates some sort of anger. Fury, maybe. Tony doesn’t give a shit. “You’ve taken everything from me! You- you fucking r-raped and kidnapped m-me-” Tony’s horrified at how much his voice breaks. “A- and then you bl- blackmailed me and th-then told the media about us! W-with a fucking ‘cute’ little picture attached! You fucking _psychopath!_!” Tony is shaking with rage. He can’t believe he’s let this go on for so long.

A hand suddenly swipes into vision and a hard, rough slap slams into Tony’s skin. He’s dripping wet, exhausted, disoriented, and the pure force behind the strike topples him to the ground. The echo of the slap bounces around Tony’s skull and the shock shuts him up, for once in his life. He doesn’t speak, doesn’t move, just cradles a palm to his throbbing cheek and stares at Jasper in shock.

“You fucking _disgrace_.” Jasper crouches down and moves forward. Tony flinches, terrified of being hit again. Thank god JARVIS can’t see any of this. “Are you kidding me? You’re talking to me as if _you_ have any leverage?” Jasper digs his hands into Tony’s shirt and pulls him up off the floor. A fist explodes pain into his face and he drops to the couch, tears springing out of his eyes, a scream raw in his throat. Another punch is delivered, then another, and another. Tony spits out a glob of blood and feels it drip down his chin, sprinkling crimson over the expensive leather couch. “I will kill your precious Avengers team if you ever speak to me like this again. You’re weak. Small. You couldn’t hurt me if you even _tried_.”

Tony’s never been known for his great life decisions, though. He throws his head forward and knocks both of them into a dark web of partial disorientation, then leaps to his wobbly feet and delivers a hard punch to the side of Jasper’s face, where he knows it’ll hurt. Jasper howls in pain but quickly recovers, fingernails digging into Tony’s shoulders and throwing him to the side like a ragdoll. Tony hits the floor with a smack, hands splaying out in front of him. “F-fuck.” He closes just eyes and tries to move, but everything hurts, and all he can taste is copper filling up his mouth. “J- Jasper-”

“Fuck you, you slut.” Tony is jerked from the floor and to the bed. Panic rips into his entire being and he tries to scramble away, but his attempts are futile. Jasper pins him down easily and rips off his pants, and before Tony knows it, he’s being thrusted into harder and rougher than ever before. “This is your fucking punishment! You don’t talk back to me! You _NEVER_ hit me!” Tony can hear the pure rage flying from Jasper’s mouth. If he were a stronger man, he would be happy to garner such a reaction, but he’s... he’s broken. 

Tony thinks he loses consciousness, because when he wakes up, Jasper is face-fucking him and moaning loudly. He wishes he had the strength to bite down and snap Jasper’s cock off, but his jaw won’t move and the bile in his throat is only growing. He tastes the semen when Jasper finishes, and Tony has to stop himself from vomiting all over the bed. _Jesus Christ. Jesus fucking Christ._

“Why don’t you think about what you’ve done?” A hand rips through his hair and jerks his head back. Tony’s crusted eyes open and he meets Jasper’s green ones, so cold and icy that he shivers. “I’m letting you off easy. If you _ever_ disrespect me like that again, I’ll be forced to do something much more drastic that I’m afraid you’ll never be able to recover from.”

And then Jasper is gone, and Tony is left all alone in his room, shaking and wet and bloody from the abuse. He begins to sob, and it’s so deep and heavy he coughs like some chain-smoker, and he can’t breathe and everything around him is fading away. Tony sucks in air and he cries. It hurts his ears, how painful it sounds. “J- JARVIS.” He sobs harder, curling in on himself like a wounded animal. “JARVIS, h-he-help me, please.”

No response.

“JARVIS.” Tony shakes his head furiously and screams. It’s guttural and twists in his throat and he coughs again, nearly blacking out. “JARVIS, wake t-the f-fu-fuck up!”

A click, and something sounds smothered behind a speaker until Tony hears- _“Sir! Sir! What has happened? Sir! Were you attacked? Please, give me permission to alert Doctor Banner immediately!”_

“N- no.” Tony moves himself up slowly. His jeans have been discarded to the side, as have his boxers. He doesn’t care anymore. He crawls under the duvet and sobs, quieter this time. “I- I - want d-dad.” Tony doesn’t fully understand what he’s even saying, but he’s desperate for someone, _anyone_ , to come save him. “JARVIS, help me, please.” He cries openly, expression shattered and broken. Tony is afraid he’ll never be able to come out of this a sane man.

 _“Sir! Please! Your heart rate is at a dangerously high level, you’re experiencing a panic attack and you- you-”_ Tony has never once heard his bot stutter. Was he even programmed to be able to? _“Sir....”_ JARVIS’s voice drops down, so low Tony can hardly hear. _“I- I’m seeing things on my screen I haven’t before. Significant damage has been done to... to your...”_

Tony sobs. “J- just fucking say it, JARVIS.”

_“You.... You’ve been raped, sir. This is not the first time. The trauma has built up. The bleeding is immense and should be fixed immediately. Sir, please, allow me to alert someone! Sir! P..........._

* * *

Tony jerks awake to loud knocking at his door. A headache feels like it splits open his skull and he groans, palming at his face. “F- fuck.” He’s almost entirely lost his voice, and Tony realizes he’s curled under the covers like a little kid. He throws the duvet off and blinks blindly, trying to register what’s happening. Knocking. Knocking at his door. _Jasper._ His heart falls into his chest.

 _“Sir. Sir, Steve Rogers is at the door.”_ Tony realizes JARVIS is speaking and breathes out, relieved. He’s safe for now, at least. _And the windows are blacked out.._ He exhales and stands up, but whines and flops to the ground in a painful heap. Every inch of his skin feels like its been beaten with a metal club. Tony painfully drags his boxers on but doesn’t bother with the jeans. Another set of heavy knocks pull Tony back into reality. Can he go to the door? He’s not even sure what he looks like. Thankfully, JARVIS has dimmed the lights, so he won’t be able to see in any mirrors. _“He’s very adamant about talking to you, Sir.”_ Tony also realizes JARVIS has calmed down considerably. That’s good. And at least he has his bot back on his side, back in the loop...

“O- okay.” He shakes his head and wobbles to his feet. “What time is it? How long have I been sleeping?”

“It’s 8:27 PM, sir. You’ve been sleeping for approximately thirteen hours and five minutes, sir.”

“Jesus fuck.” Tony rubs at his head and hisses at the sting. Had Jasper punched him in the _fucking_ head? Another harsh knock. “Fuck- shut up! I’m coming! Fucking hell....” He saunters to the door and slowly cracks it open. Pale yellow light from the hallway spills into his room, nearly blinding him. And there Steve is, all basked in his.... disgusting glory. “What?” Tony snaps.

Steve looks at him. “Tony, open the door.”

“Okay...?” He slowly widens the door and blinks against the harsh rain of light. Tony meets Steve’s gaze and sees something akin to shock and horror shine back. “What?”

“T- Tony.” And then he remembers that his bruises are clear in view, and he instinctively wraps a hand around his cheek. “Wh-” Steve attempts to slam the door open and Tony pushes back, but he’s too weak and tired and afraid so he just lets Captain Ameri-can’t-stay-out-of-your-business into his room. “What the hell happened?!” Steve scrutinizes the blood staining the couch, the discarded jeans on the floor, the ripped duvet. “J- Jesus. Tony.” He whirls back around and grips Tony’s arms, blue eyes wide and terrified. “Were you attacked?!” He looks at the bruise and runs a thumb over it.

A flash of Jasper and Tony jerks back, breath coming out hard. “S- stop.” He’s surprised he hasn’t passed out again. “F- fuck off, Steve, I’m f-fine.”

“No! You’re not!” Steve grabs Tony’s shoulders and moves him in front of the mirror. “ _Look_!” His voice is bordering on panic. 

And Steve is right. It definitely looks like he was attacked. _Because I was. Jasper did this._ A splotch of black and purple bruises splay across his face, curling around his cheek and wrapping around his eye. Fuck. His forehead has a cut that’s split open and leaking a thin trail of blood down his nose. Tony wipes at his face and smears crimson across his cheek, wincing. “Okay, but- you should see the other guy.”

“Tony! This isn’t the time for _jokes_!” Steve is panicking, probably having an anxiety attack, but Tony has already been there and now he needs to pull himself together. Jasper isn’t going away. He has to deal with it now, especially after this beating. “What happened? Tell me right now.”

Tony blinks at him dumbly. “F- fell.”

“TONY!” Steve screeches and moves them to the couch, sitting Tony down. He begins to pace back and forth, chest rising and falling at an unhealthy pace. “Tell me what happened. Right now.”

“I just told you.”

“Stop lying!” Steve faces him, and his expression is so fearful and open and scared that Tony nearly breaks. He can’t do this to his friend, can he? _I have to. To protect him._ But when Tony doesn’t respond, he shakes his head. “JARVIS, what happened?”

_“Sir was r—”_

“ _Sleep_ , JARVIS!” Tony yells. His heart flutters in his chest. Jesus fuck, his bot had almost ratted him out to Captain America.

“Tony!” Steve jumps forward. “Tony, why? Why did you make him sleep? _What was he going to say_?”

“N- nothing- look, Steve, he was j- just saying I was r.... um... really drunk and fell down a flight of stairs because the elevator wasn’t working, and I really needed my coffee-”

“Where was Jasper?!” Steve stared at him, eyes bugging out of his head. “Why didn’t he help?!”

“Um-” Tony spluttered uselessly. “He left early this morning. I- I don’t remember much, okay? I just passed out when I fell, okay? I don’t know, I think I came back up and got into bed.” His stutter was returning, harsh and relentless. “Th- then you woke m- me up.” _Don’t cry. Don’t fucking cry, Stark._

“Well the elevator was working just fine!” Steve exclaimed, throwing his arms into the air. “What the fuck’s that about?!”

Tony’s pretty sure he’s never heard his friend cuss this much in his entire _life_. “Just calm down, Christ, o- okay? I don’t know, I’ll check it out later, I just-”

“Come on.” Steve shakes his head and puts his hand on Tony’s shoulder, fingers digging into his skin. “You’re going to the hospital.”

Tony freezes, and he sees that hand morph into Jasper’s, and he’s gazing back at green eyes. Tony flinches back, hard, and begins to tremble. “D- don’t touch me.”

Steve stops moving, like he’s been struck. “What...?” His voice comes out small. A child’s voice, almost. 

“I said _STOP TOUCHING ME!_ ” Tony slaps Steve’s hand away and curls into the couch, eyes wide and unfocused. “Fuck off! G- go away! Go!”

Steve doesn’t move.

“FUCKING LEAVE, STEVE!” He leaps to his feet and shoves Captain America back. “LEAVE!” Steve is shocked, rooted in place, but manages to scramble out of the room in shock. When the door closes, _finally_ , Tony begins to sob hysterically and drops to the ground. He curls his arms around his legs and pushes his face into his knees.

His life feels like it’s over. Whether or not his team finds out about the abuse, Tony knows that Jasper will never go away. And when he returns, which is absolutely inevitable, Tony is terrified of which person he’ll be - Jasper, drunk and angry and horny, or Jasper, kind and sympathetic and almost, in the most fucked up way possible, _lovable._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. Yes. It’s been way too long, and for that I apologize. A lot of things have been going on, but I saw a really sweet comment on another website and it just...absolutely melted my heart. I felt so horrid I decided I’m going to really try and continue writing this.
> 
> Now...I’m so sorry for this chapter. It was physically painful for me to write, but it was a necessary development in the story, as much as it hurts me to say. You’ll find out why soon, but for now, I’m gonna give poor Tony a virtual hug. Aside from the heartbreak, what did you guys think? Any predictions on what’ll come next? Anything you’re dying to see? What do you think Jasper is up to, and what’s Steve thinking?
> 
> On a lighter note, thank you all once again for your undying support. You guys mean the world to me and I hope I can give you something that’s been worth this horrendous three month wait. You’re all amazing and beautiful and just....I love y’all. <3


	9. Snowfall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s my Christmas present to all of you wonderful people ✨

Tony is awoken by the door sliding shut. He jerks forward, caught off guard, and blinks to clear his blurred vision. “Hello?” He looks down at himself and realizes he’s shivering, curled up in a bundle of formerly wet clothes. Tony groans when he stretches his legs, realizing how sore he is.

“Tony.”

That voice. Tony immediately freezes, gaze wavering. He slowly lifts his head and takes in Jasper’s appearance; his shirt is half-buttoned, hair a mess, eyes unfocused. Shit. Shit, shit, shit. Drunk Jasper is not someone Tony wants to fuck with, he’s learned that by now.

“Fuck.” Jasper drags a hand down his face and staggers over to the bed, plopping down on it. Tony forces himself not to flinch and stares at his - his _boyfriend_ \- waiting for the worst to come. He’d rather be hit than raped. “I’m so sorry, baby. So, so sorry.”

Tony freezes in shock, caught off guard. “Wh- what?” He can’t stop the words from tumbling out of his mouth. _This doesn’t make sense. Is Jasper.... _apologizing?_ Really apologizing?_

Jasper almost looks annoyed, but his expression is hard to tell through the darkness of the room. Tony isn’t forgetting what happened yesterday, so curls in on himself as he waits for an answer. More than anything, he’s confused. He doesn’t know why Jasper is being so....so... _nice_?

“I said I’m _sorry_ ,” Jasper repeats, voice slightly harsher. Tony flinches. “I’m sorry for what happened yesterday. I thought you’d be happy but you pissed me off. I couldn’t stop myself, okay?”

 _Happy?_ Tony has to stop himself from laughing in disbelief. _This man is insane. Absolutely, completely insane. He needs to be in a fucking mental institution._ But he thinks about what Jasper had done to him, how angry he’d been, and Tony isn’t sure he wants to push that again.

“Okay,” Tony murmurs, voice rough and grating. It hurts to hear himself say it, _forgive_ Jasper, but what else is he meant to do? _I’m defending my team. I’m doing what I have to for them. Even if they never know....it’s better than being the cause of their deaths._ He shivers.

Jasper turns his green gaze toward Tony, eyes wide. “You...forgive me?”

A forced smile brightens his lips. “Of course,” Tony says, “why wouldn’t I?”

The other male shakes his head. “I- I don’t know. I thought I’d fucked it all up. You really forgive me?”

Tony closes his eyes and reopens them. “Always.”

Jasper giggles like a schoolgirl and claps his hands together. Tony can see the man he glimpsed in the beginning, when he was first captured, bleeding through. _He’s playing me. There’s no way this is real._ “Tony, let me do something for you. Please. Let me make it up to you.”

His chest heaves and Tony hesitates. “What....” He needs to say it in a non-threatening manner. He doesn’t want Jasper to get angry or abusive again. “What do you want to do?”

“Please you, of course.” Jasper leans forward and brushes his lips over Tony’s. He shivers. “Now, go on. Lay down. You don’t need to worry about anything.”

Tony stares at Jasper for a moment, trying to figure out what to do, but eventually complies. He tries not to think about what could happen, what’s _going_ to happen, and breathes in harshly. Tony shifts back on the bed and lays down flat on his back. “Okay...”

Jasper turns on his side and crawls in between Tony’s legs, messing with the hem of Tony’s boxers. He smirks and slides them down, resting his chin on his palms. “Alright. Just lean back and relax.”

The terror pulsing through Tony is unfathomable. He still listens to Jasper, letting his body smooth over, trying not to show how scared he is. Maybe Jasper can feel it. He always does. Then, Tony’s breath hitches when Jasper bends forward, tongue running over the tip of his cock. It twitches to life and hardens in Jasper’s mouth. Tony tries not to cry. _Don’t think about him. Just pretend you’re somewhere else, far away. Pretend it’s Pepper. Don’t think about Jasper._

“There we go,” Jasper purrs, moving his head so that he can kiss Tony’s cock. He eventually moves back to the tip and thumbs his tongue over it, letting his mouth slide over. Warmth spreads through Tony’s dick and he curls his fingers. It feels _good_ , and he hates that it does, because this is _Jasper_ and this man has fucking raped and abused him and—

_Remember. This isn’t Jasper.....it’s Pepper.._

Jasper dips his head all the way down and Tony’s cock runs up against his uvula, pulsing through Jasper’s throat. He comes up for a small breath and goes back down on Tony, sliding his tongue in between Tony’s balls.

Tony puffs out a short, drawn breath, fire crackling through his insides. Jasper begins to blow at a faster pace, eyes closed as he focuses on his work. 

The orgasm builds in Tony’s abdomen and he gasps softly. “Sh-shit,” he mutters, and all he sees is Pepper down there, and it makes him feel good and safe. “Don’t stop...”

Jasper hums in response and goes faster, then stops, edging Tony. He whines softly and Jasper squeezes his hand, returning to his original pace. Tony can’t concentrate on the specifics, but knows he’s receiving a blowjob that feels amazing. The orgasm returns, harsher and hotter than before, begging to be released. Tony shouts and leans forward, eyes closing, combing his hands through Jasper’s hair.

His hips buck upwards as he releases into Jasper’s mouth, and the horror suddenly dawns on him that this isn’t Pepper, it’s _Jasper_ , and he’s just enjoyed something horrible and disgusting and— oh, fuck, his chest heaves irregularly and Tony scrambles back, crying. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he sobs, pushing his palms into his eyes. What’s wrong with him? Is he seriously so fucked up he has to imagine his sweet Pepper in Jasper’s place? _If anyone knew this....they’d hate me. They’d think I’m disgusting._

“Hey. Babe. Shh.” Jasper crawls forward and cradles Tony’s face in his hands. “Stop worrying so much. You’re fine. Okay? It’s just me.”

 _That’s the problem._ Tony’s gasps turn into wrenched cries, and he feels an anxiety attack begin to pulse through his chest. He can’t breathe, can’t see, can’t think and can’t comprehend anything that’s happening—

Jasper leans up against Tony and sighs. “Come on. Put your head on my lap.”

That fear burns like acid and Tony shakes his head desperately. “No, Jasper, please—” He can’t. He can’t give a blowjob, he can’t do this anymore, he needs to escape, needs to find a way to escape—

A slap burns hard across Tony’s cheek and he stills, shivering uncontrollably. “Nevermind,” Jasper snaps, eyes fiery. “I try to do something nice and you freak out after? What the fuck is your problem, huh? I wasn’t going to make you do anything. I was going to be nice and pet your hair and fall asleep with you, but no. You had to be ungrateful.”

Jasper pushes his hand into the back of Tony’s head and shoves him down into his crotch. Tony begins to shout, trying to scramble away, but Jasper is too strong. He pulls out his cock and shoves it in Tony’s mouth. “This is what happens when you don’t listen to me!”

Tony manages to wrench himself out of Jasper’s grasp and turns to the side, vomiting all over the floor. Heavy sobs claw at his throat and the tears flow freely, dribbling down his cheeks. “Please, please, no,” he splutters pathetically.

Jasper shoves him to the ground and shouts something unintelligible. He can make out ‘slut!’ The other male leans forward and backhands Tony once more. He cries out and pushes himself against his bed, terrified. “Whatever. I’m done with your bullshit.”

Nothing happens.

When Tony cracks open his eyes Jasper is opening the elevator, a scowl apparent on his features. “I’ll be back,” is all he says, and then the elevator doors close and Tony is alone once more.

* * *

The first chilly draft of New York brings with it a surplus of snow. It’s getting closer to Christmas. Lights all around New York City are hanging, trees are flashing bright LED colors at Natasha every time she steps foot out of the tower, and there’s that familiar holiday joy that she’s missed. 

There’s also something else that she misses, and that would be Tony. Her teammate is becoming more of an anomaly than ever, and Natasha is determined to get to the bottom of it. She hasn’t ever seen him like this. He’s distant, withdrawn, and unusually quiet when he comes down for breakfast. Natasha’s surprised he hasn’t built his own coffee machine in his penthouse yet.

He’s been sighted more this December, but things are still rocky and far from normal. For starters, there was apparently an “incident” with Clint, Bruce, and Steve a few days ago, and no one thought to tell her about it. She’s pulsing with anger, because she feels like she needs to know these kinds of things. 

Clint does feel guilty. Natasha knows she can’t change him, but sometimes wishes he could be at least a _little_ more serious. Especially when talking about Tony’s current predicament. “What happened, exactly?”

Bruce shuffles nervously next to Clint on the couch, eyes flickering from side to side. “It was... Tony was upset. We saw bruises on his wrists. Another time he came back to the tower pretty late, drunk, and I treated his wounds.”

“And you didn’t tell me,” she says, and it’s a statement, not a question. Natasha crosses her arms and closes the length between she and Clint, eyes narrowing. She’s done with Bruce, for now. “And.... what else have you seen?”

“Hey, that’s it,” Clint laughs, throwing his hands up in mock surrender, a smile stretching wide across his cheeks. “I really don’t know why you’re so worried, though. Stark can take care of himself. And besides, after Pepper dumped him a while back, he’s been messing around. Drinking. We know that. So why is his behavior so shocking? I mean, to be honest, I’m _liking_ this new Stark! Maybe Jasper is actually doing some goo-” 

Natasha slaps him before he can continue. Bruce’s eyes widen and he slowly inches away, forcing his gaze back on the television. Clint stares at her, raising a hand to his cheek. She just glares.

“Jesus, Nat,” he finally spits out. “What the fuck is your problem? I didn’t know you had a crush on Stark.”

“The problem is that you are not taking this seriously.” She shakes her head and stands back. “Something is wrong. I can feel it.”

Clint stares at her. “And what, exactly, is wrong?”

“I don’t know,” she answers honestly. Natasha anxiously rubs her teeth over her bottom lip. It’s an unfortunate tic Clint has noticed, so when he sees it, he’s suddenly treading very carefully.

“Nat,” he says. She takes a moment to look at him, annoyed and pressed about their predicament. Stark is upstairs with Jasper, and Natasha isn’t particularly keen on interrupting them. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t know,” Natasha repeats. She eventually sighs and moves to sit next to him. Clint is the only person she ever really lets touch her, so when he wraps an arm around her shoulder and presses her into his side, she doesn’t mind. Hardly notices. Natasha’s mind is turning side to side, trying to figure out why she feels so _wrong._

“Well, if you don’t know, then why are you stressing?” He squeezes her shoulder.

She rips herself out of his grasp. “Because I need to figure out what is bothering me. Unlike you, I can’t sit around and watch the news all day. Things need to be done.”

Bruce looks away guiltily. Clint just rolls his eyes. “Then go see Stark yourself. I don’t know how talking to us is gonna help at all. After all, we’re just lazy and stupid, right?” His voice takes on a bite she hadn’t expected. Natasha looks at him coolly, but inside, she feels a little bad. She shouldn’t have been so harsh. “Jesus, Nat, just leave. I was enjoying watching Ghost Adventures before you started to interrogate us. Right, Bruce?”

He looks between them. “Um, yeah...? I guess.”

Natasha leaves silently, retreating back to she and Clint’s floor. She takes a while to go over the mental notes she’s created. _Stark went missing for roughly two weeks. Returned with bruising around his wrists. Now consuming ungodly amounts of alcohol. Sudden relationship with Jasper Morrow._

The clues are turning gears in her head. Was he kidnapped? Tortured? It’s possible, but most symptoms of captured men do not mirror Tony Stark’s after his return to the tower. Jasper Morrow is a mystery she hasn’t solved yet. His background is clear — of course she ran a check on him — and his intentions seem innocent enough. Natasha isn’t convinced he’s working for one of their enemies, and she’s confident Tony would ever fight back if something more sinister was going on. 

Still. There’s this horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach, winding and twisting and stabbing. Natasha sighs and opens her eyes, just in time for Clint to enter their penthouse. He looks at her and scoffs. “Here to lecture me again?”

“I wasn’t trying to lecture you.” She watches him closely. Stiff movements, drawn expression. He’s upset. “Will you come here?”

“Fuck off.”

She doesn’t respond.

Clint eyes her, pausing in his tracks. His fingers twitch as he considers, but he eventually makes his way to the bed, sitting on her side. Natasha gazes at him, tilts her head, and lays a hand on his knee for some extra comfort. “You know I wasn’t trying to make you angry.”

He shrugs. “It.. it’s whatever. I get it. You’re worried. And I..” Clint watches her, frowning. “I think there _is_ something wrong.”

She stares at him.

“With Stark,” he quickly continues. “I know I fuck around sometimes, but it’s weird not having him around. And when he is with us, it’s just... I don’t know. It feels off.”

Natasha eventually nods. “I agree.” A pause as she brushes her thumb across his cheek. “Don’t worry, _amare_. I’ll figure something out.”

“I know.” Clint moves her fingers to his lips and kisses them gently. _Yes,_ Natasha thinks, _I will figure this out._

* * *

“JARVIS.”

Tony’s voice comes out small and fragile. He’s sitting on the bed, arms wrapped around his legs and head drawn forward. He’s shaking, damp with sweat and terrified for what feels like the twentieth time today. A red mark blossoms on Tony’s cheek. 

_“Yes, Sir?”_ his AI says after a moment.

Tony tears off one of his fingernails with his teeth. “Is Jasper gone?”

 _“Yes, Sir. He entered a taxi one minute and twenty-seven seconds ago. You’re safe.”_ Tony’s not sure how his bot can be so comforting, but somehow, he manages to.

Cries begin to wrench from Tony’s throat. The shame builds up in his chest, threatening to spill over. “I can’t do this anymore,” he sobs, shaking his head. “Please h-help me. Please. JARVIS.”

 _“Sir...”_ JARVIS genuinely sounds sad, but maybe Tony is just imagining things. He wouldn’t be surprised. _“Allow me to notify one of your team members about this. Please. I can’t bear to see you hurt like this, Sir.”_

Tony curls in on himself. “No,” he whispers. “I....I have to do it, it can’t be anyone else, I have to tell them...” His voice fades away slightly. He thinks this is the last straw for him. “But...” More tears involuntarily leak out of his eyes. “I don’t know how..!”

JARVIS is quiet for a moment. _“Sir...I...I have an idea, but I’m not sure if you would like to go along with it._

Tony frowns deeply, curling his hands over his legs, pushing them into his chest. “What?” he asks. “Come on, spit it o-out, JARVIS.”

Another pause. _“When Jasper returns, make it known that you are done with him. If he tries to attack you, I will begin recording and command him to stop. We will have the evidence we need to put him away. He will be out of your life forever.”_

“B-but-” Tony’s voice dies in the small of his throat. “His people. His workers. Th-they’ll kill my fr-friends!”

The next words make Tony stop.

_“Sir....what if he _has_ no people working for him?”_

Tony can’t speak for a moment. What if it is all a lie? What if Jasper is acting alone, that woman in the bar wasn’t one of his ‘assassins,’ and he actually has no leverage over Tony? “He has pictures on his phone. If he comes back.....can you take them off?”

JARVIS sounds pleased, but deathly serious. _“Yes.”_

He closes his eyes, trying to breathe in. This is what he needs to do to get Jasper the fuck away from him. Who cares if anyone else knows? As long as they’re safe....

“Okay,” Tony croaks, leaning his head back, eyes sliding shut. “I’ll do it, JARVIS.... _we’ll_ do it...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Sorry it’s been a bit, but school has been kicking my ass, finals and all that jazz. Anywho, it’s Christmas break, so I finally have some time to write! Things are definitely taking a turn in this story now. I’m VERY excited for next chapter (and I’m hoping it’s gonna be a longer one) so be prepared!!! I won’t let you guys down.
> 
> Also, I’ve been rewatching Mysterious Skin and listening to the BEAUTIFUL soundtrack (most notably Snowfall, the inspiration for my title lol), and it’s inspired me a lot, so please go watch that movie! It’s wonderful. Heavy shit, but.....I think everyone needs to see it.
> 
> Anywho, enough of that. I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter and stay tuned for the next one! Feel free to comment your throughs, and if you have any predictions or theories or suggestions, I’d love to hear! You have all made my year. Thank you <3


End file.
